Monday, February 28, 2011

February Fail!

Goals didn't go so well for the month of February. I think I only got one out of three this month and that's just plain sad. But, let's review them to see how it went.

Goal One: Continue running with 3 pass days and add in yoga.
Totally didn't do that. Out of the 12.5 hours I should have run this month, I only did about 5. That's not too terrible because it's more than none, but it was nowhere close to my goal, not even half! I'm not going to make a ton of excuses because despite being sick part of the month, the other part I was better but just didn't get back in the habit. I shall fix that next month. Also didn't do any yoga. So, that's something to look for next month.

Goal Two: Read at least 30 minutes a day.
Yep, failed on this one too. I did read, and pushed through a few of my magazines, but didn't get that 30 minutes a day. I'm not sure why I find it so hard to read, but by the time I get home I feel tired and can't imagine sitting down and reading. So, again, will have to push hard for that one next month.

Goal Three: Organize my and file my teaching documents.
SUCCESS! Yes! The over a foot tall pile of documents from my American History class and the similarly sized pile from my World History class have now been organized and filed. I could probably use labels on the folders, but it's not necessary. Perhaps if I have the time I'll add them, but it's pretty self explanatory when you open them what unit they belong to.

So that's the goals. On the upside an unfinished goal from January is now able to be completed. I lost my video link to my computer (read broken), but I was able to find a new option, so I'm back to uploading old video! HOORAY! Preserving things at a very quick pace this month, but still have a mountain to go. Also, at this rate I'll need a third hard drive sometime soon because my second one is filling up fast!

Overall, February was a month of suck. I got sick for the first time since 2009, which was no fun at all and really pulled me down. We got a ton of snow, which can lick my left toe because I'm about done with winter. And finally, the month started with the biggest suck in the history of suck this year, because of Norbert's unexpected demise. Incidentally, the house is still really quiet. I never realized how much noise she made, but it's way too quiet now days. Well, except for Sam's constant whining now. Pretty much if he's awake and near me, he's just whining. It's driving me insane. He's also gone back to staring at me. I HATE THAT! He just sits there and stares at me for no apparent reason. That coupled with Simon's barking at nothing is going to drive me into the nut house. Anyhow, that's the update for the month of February. I can't believe how fast time is flying, but I'm happy to have it gone because I'm ready for some warmer weather, some sunnier skies, some warm breezes, and green grass! See ya in March, ya'll!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Oscars

The Oscars were tonight, and in an effort to appeal to a younger crowd they decided to have James Franco and Anne Hathaway host. From the start I thought that was stupid, and said so when they announced it. James Franco seemed like he was high all night, so he generally sucked. Anne Hathaway did a good job, and sang a nice song about how Hugh Jackman screwed her over on singing a duet. So that was fun. Overall there weren't that many surprises, and I apologize to any news feed on Facebook that got flooded with my running commentary.

Some highlights:

-I'm starting to wonder if the Oscars have made the Batman blunder by going to a 2 host format. Two villains don't make it better.

-Really? A Canadian movie under best foreign film???

-Nice cameo by Obama. But he's right. (Regarding his preference for best song being from Casablanca)

-Chuck can sing?

-What the hell! That wasn't a song! That was two people making noises. Dogs do the same thing whilst humping.

-Randy Newman is pissed. If anyone is going to have a shitty song up for an Oscar, IT'S RANDY NEWMAN.

-LOL! Nice bit on the "musicals" from this year.

-Robert Downey Jr. go get a bow tie.

-If I were a dead Hollywood type, I'd be pissed I was in the Celine Dion montage. Let people know so they can plan their death accordingly. Sheesh!

-Natalie Portman won, but I expect her to grow feathers during her acceptance speech while making out with Mila Kunis.

-James Franco would have given his right hand for an Oscar.

-Tonight's closing performance will be prerecorded music lip sung by some poor kids shipped in from somewhere.

Overall it wasn't too bad, but I really miss good hosts like Billy Crystal. I didn't feel like this one was much fun. It was also pretty predictable, which kind of sucks, but whatever. It could have been worse, and it has been worse. Though, I have to say they could have better utilized Alec Baldwin in the opening, it was almost funny.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Lazy Saturday

Not much to report today. In contrast to last week where we decided to have people over since it was our first weekend off in almost a month, this week we decided to do nothing much. So, we slept in, though only till about 8:30 because there was some sort of strange knocking. It almost sounded like someone was hitting the side of our house, but I couldn't see anyone doing anything, so I don't think that was really what it was. After that we got free lunch at Max and Ermas, which was tasty, and walked around the mall for a bit. Finally, we watched Netflix. All in all, a nice day!

Friday, February 25, 2011

A Dramatic Evening

This evening we decided to go to one of the local high schools to see a production of West Side Story. It was neat because we have never seen anything by this school before, so it was nice to watch something new. Going into it I was also really interested to see their theatre because it's a very new school, so I expected it to be super nice, and wasn't disappointed. I really can't wait to see what they build for us this year and next year, it should be super nice too!

Anyhow, they had really great publicity posters, and the t-shirts matched the posters which was a nice touch. In addition, the programs had the same image as well, and they were full color, which must have cost them a fortune to get printed up! The sets were also pretty nice, and since they have a huge, beautiful, awesome theatre, they were able to fly a lot of stuff in and out which was pretty cool. They also had some great lighting for the show, especially at the end when they had a simulated sunrise. Very nice!

The one thing that really was a bit off about the show was that you couldn't hear what was going on. We got there about 20 minutes early, but when we walked into the theatre the place was already packed, so we had to sit near the very back. So, perhaps there was a dead spot, but it seemed like they only had one kid with a mic, and that mic wasn't turned up at all. I was a bit disappointed by that because there were a lot of things that I assumed were probably funny but I couldn't know because I wasn't able to hear them.

Overall it wasn't bad, though I hate Sondheim, and he was involved with this musical. I don't find anything he does "musical" it's more of just notes vomited up onto sheet music. Now, I know that he didn't write the music for this one, just the lyrics, but still it had a very un-musical feel to it all. I just hate Sondheim and pretty much everything he's ever done. I get a lot of crap for that since I do a lot of theatre, but I can't help it. I like music, he writes crap that isn't music.

Anyhow, it was enjoyable!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

As Time Goes By

Today I had an unexpected subbing job, which was nice and not so nice. It was not so nice because I expected that I wouldn't be teaching today and I had planned to get some other important work done. It was nice because it was not my usual class that I sub for, but I still got to teach which is great. The reason I dislike subbing is that I'm generally not teaching. The standard is to give students some sort of worksheet, watch a movie, or do something lame that the kids don't like, and that I don't like. I understand why because any moron can sub as long as they meet some very minor qualifications. So, really it's like babysitting.

Today was different though, I knew the teacher I was subbing for, but had never worked with her and only knew her from working in the same building last year. But, I was assigned her room, and she gave me a call last night to discuss what was going to be happening. Turns out she had an actual lesson plan for me to follow. I got to give notes, do an activity, have some discussion, students gave presentations. It was pretty great! And, it was as if the teacher was actually there. I think part of the reason was because this was an AP class so they don't have time to fool around and lose time due to a sub.

Another reason that it was nice is because each class had probably around half a dozen or more students that I had last year as freshman either while student teaching or during my long-term job. The other reason it was nice was because many of them were the students I liked working with because they were really clever and quick witted so they got my jokes and often would fire back something great. It was also interesting to see how different (similar) they were a year later. One student I had last year was SOOOOOOO quiet, never said anything but today was chatting away and really had changed a lot. On the other there was my student last year who often caused the class to erupt into revolt against them because of what they would say. That one hadn't changed at all, which was somewhat amusing, but also unfortunate that they haven't grown up any. Overall, a great subbing day.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Running Fail

It seems that if I don't run in the morning, I'm not going to at all. I though, "well, I don't have drama tonight so I'll just do it when I get home. Then, I fell asleep. Then I woke up and it was time for dinner, and I was still tired. So instead of running, I watched Face Off, Survivor, and reruns of How I Met Your Mother. I suck.

In other news, I was asked to buy a ticket to see West Side Story today by one of the students I was subbing for. I didn't have cash, but we're going to go on Friday. Should be interesting since I've never seen one of their productions.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Cheeseheads


So, unless you've been living under a rock you should know that there's a bit of a protest going on in Wisconsin over the state budget. This really isn't big news because of the fact that many states are currently going through some financial hard times. Pick any state and you'll probably hear a similar story where there's not money and states are looking to cut back services. If you haven't heard what's going on, here are a few articles that you can read to catch up:


Or a more light report on it:
So, now that you're briefed you know that the difference in Wisconsin is that along with a number of measures to cut costs is that the governor wants to strip the workers of their right to collective bargaining in everything except wages. The great big old lie in this matter is that the number one issue is that they have to do something to cut costs. The reason that this is a lie is because the unions have agreed to every single proposal that could cut costs, but refuse to support the loss of their right to collectively bargain. Let me be clear here, all financial considerations they have agreed to. It seems like a big win because all the financial cuts were agreed to, so you'd think there would be a deal. But there isn't.

All this talk about needing to cut costs and that the finances are the number one issue is obviously a load of malarkey. If that were true they'd take the deal. The truth is that Republicans are using this "financial crisis" as an excuse to try and bust unions. Taking away a union's right to collectively bargain is removing the point of being a union. The workers have the right to come together and as Republicans always do, they are doing what they can to further serve those they care about: business.

They say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Well, it seems the greatest trick the republicans ever pulled was tricking the average American to vote against their own self interest and support ideas that actually harm them.

To put it plainly, unions are not the problem, and the financial crisis is just a way to bust them up, which is what business has wanted since unions formed. Perhaps you recall the LITERAL union busting tactics from your history class. You know, when people got beat. As I've said many times before unions have been an important force for getting people fair wages, safe working conditions, and a decent standard of living. If you think that unions "once served a purpose but are not needed anymore" which is something I heard said on NPR today, then you're wrong. Don't think for a moment that business won't do whatever it can to turn things around if a union wasn't there to stop them.

I fully support the protesters in Wisconsin!

A perfect summary from Jon Stewart
In other news, I got to run again! YAY!!! 65 minutes today, WOO!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Waiting For Superman

On Saturday we got our Netflix and this time it was "Waiting for Superman" which you all should know is a documentary that focuses on education. This is in the same vein as "An Inconvenient Truth" but for the education system in America. Or at least that's what everyone is saying about it. So, what to say about this movie? It's really hard to come up with how to respond to it, since the subject is really complex. I think I'll take a few of the main topics and expand on what I have to say about them. I imagine this will be a long post, so good luck to us both... and be aware, there will be test at the end!

My first comment I'll have to make is that while I am a certified teacher, I came first from business. I worked for five years in retail management, four years prior to that simply in retail as a sales associate. Then for four years I worked in human resources, and a final year in store operations. Because of this I have a long experience working in areas that some people call "the real world". I don't like to use that term because everything is "the real world". Being a teacher is no less real than being an admin, an HR rep, a merchandiser, a marketer, or a factory worker. We all go to work, we all have a job to do, etc.

At the same time, there is something I've noticed about those teachers who have never had any other career except teaching. Teachers like that seem to not recognize what the rest of the world is doing, and what is expected in the rest of the world. They see some things as huge attacks on them, when it is standard practice at many corporations. One example I use is the idea of "staying late." Anyone who is salary knows that there's no such thing as overtime.

Teachers are salary, and so when I seem them whine, complain, and act as if they've been asked to eat moldy cheese that has been sitting on the basketball court in the play ground for the last three months, I want to scream. I worked as an admin, which is far less important than a teacher, and sometimes during the "busy season" I had to work late to get done what needed to get done. There was no over time, and there really wasn't an opt out. Furthermore, I knew it was expected and therefore didn't complain and knew that I had certain flexibilities in my work that allowed for trade offs for the extra work. Teachers are salary. If they have to stay late for a meeting with a parent, or some sort of staff meeting, or some minor thing, they should just shut up and do it.

That is only an example, but the point is some people in our profession need to be PROFESSIONALS! If you want to be treated in a professional manner, then you need to act in such a manner. I'm not saying that schools need to necessarily operate as a business would, but the teachers should act in a way befitting of their profession and up the level. Some schools do this, some don't. Some teachers do this, some don't. It's not a "all teachers are like this" kind of a statement, but many are and need to realize how everyone else operates.

It's a public relations issue, and when you're seen as someone who complains about things you have to do, when 90% of everyone else ALREADY does that, then you need to be quite. Furthermore, as I mentioned with being salary and getting some flexibility etc., teachers also get perks such as lower cost of health care, marginally better pension plans, and extended amounts of time off. These things are part of the compensation package, so while they may not get paid a ton, they get other perks that help balance that out. That's how it works in the corporate world, so teachers, remember that most people only get two weeks off a year... you get that at christmas alone, then an additional week in the spring, numerous 3 day weekends, snow days, and summers off. So, stop bitching about staff meetings, parent meetings, or having to take work home. At the same time, fight back at anyone who says you're over paid or who belittles the job we do.

Alright, now on to the subjects of the movie!

Charter Schools
This movie follows a number of kids as they try to get into charter schools. I'm glad that the movie points this out, but I think a lot of people miss the fact that only about one in five charter schools are super effective. Charter schools are not the magic bullet that will solve the problem the educational system has. However, they do offer a service that gives people options when they have no good options. I'm generally a person who will go around the system if it doesn't work. If all I get are road blocks, then obviously we need a new road. It's the capitalist way, isn't it? Competition? Right now there is a charter school going up in our district. The school is scared about it, but if they didn't have an abysmal 25% at proficiency in writing (as an example), then perhaps they wouldn't have anything to be worried about and there would be no "customers" for the new charter school to cater to.

Much like the rest of the schools in America, there are good ones and there are bad ones. I think this documentary focuses on the good ones, and that's great. I hope that schools around the country are looking at charters (and ALL good schools) and figuring out what works. At the same time I hope that people aren't being misled into believing that charter schools are really any different from public schools in general. If you have a good one, go for it. Just remember not all of them are good, and a good one doesn't mean that your local school is necessarily bad.

Tenure
Overall, the idea of tenure is something I'm in favor of. I think that in a system where you need to teach some controversial subjects (i.e. those who have to teach some science matters, geo-political issues, etc.) and some may want to silence those who have opposing view points. I think that it is important to ensure that good teachers are safe to do what's best. That being said, I have to agree with the film that the institution of tenure is being mishandled. Simply being present for a set amount of time is not a condition that someone should be given job protection. Proving that you are deserving of tenure, is a reason to receive it.

I think, much like universities, the tenure process should be difficult and require a lot of teachers. If we are bestowing the honor of safety in teaching, you should live up to it. A great teacher who is constantly working to better themselves, who connects to students, who doesn't hand them a worksheet and tell them to go, who doesn't read notes from a desk, who doesn't do just enough to get by deserves tenure.

In addition, I think the statistic that most districts don't even try to fire tenured teachers is more of an issue. I mean a good portion of those who tried did succeed. If you don't try you will never succeed, so perhaps actually going through with it would help. If a teacher is just sitting around like what was seen in the undercover video, then take the steps you can take. Perhaps they'll straighten up, or perhaps they'll actually get fired. Furthermore, I don't think the "crazy" steps of observations and a chance to improve are unnecessarily difficult. If a teacher is that bad, then take the time to follow through, meet the dead lines, and finish the process. It may be hard work, but get it done. And if you can't, then perhaps you need to visit their class more and observe and fix. The point is, things can be done.

Failing Schools
The majority of schools we see, of course, are failing. If they weren't failing then why would you be following them? The kids you're seeing are trying to get out of failing schools. The method is lottery into charter schools. In the past there was a push for vouchers so students could pay for private schools. Regardless I think a lot of people hear over and over again that, "Our schools are failing" and therefore think all schools are failing. That's not the case. There are MANY great schools out there, and most likely some near you. Be aware of this, and don't assume that because you keep hearing about failing schools that every school is failing.

That being said, there is a troubling fact that while our student get trounced in testing, they still think they're the best. In fact, in some places suggesting that "America isn't #1" is a form of treason and will get you labeled as one of those socialist-blame-America-first-elites who aren't from the "real America" and are trying to tell you what to do. But unless we admit there is a problem, then we can't fix it. If you don't believe your house is on fire, you're not going to call the fire department. We need to realize that we aren't #1 and be willing to do what it takes to get back there.

This brings some much bigger issues to deal with, the paramount being the total lack, disregard, and sometimes out right hostility toward education. This has many incarnations, from the person who says indignantly that someone is one of those "elite snobs from academia" to the brilliant student labeled a "nerd," a "geek," a "fag," a "bookworm," and even those who criticize their own family members for being "too stuck up" and trying to be "better than they are" because they're getting "out of the trailer park" and getting an education (there are lots of articles about this, and it's appalling). The simple fact is that education is not valued. Notoriety, fame, obsession, and money are the things people strive for.

Anyone who reads the news, watches the news, reads magazines, or is paying attention knows that the top mathematicians go into finance because they'll make more money than if they take a job with NASA. It was a major focus during the financial meltdown because the things that f'ed up the works were these complex, impossible to understand financial instruments thought up by these brilliant people who went into finance rather than science so they could make more money. Kids want to be singers, athletes, movie stars, or anything as long as it's rich. To be honest, if you are asked "If you were rich, what would you do" and your answer isn't what you're doing now, then nine times out of ten, that's the problem. Everything is being clouded by the pull of the all-mighty dollar. We need scientist to go to the moon, or to Mars so they can research and develop things that then get used in our daily life. We need scientists to study the diseases that plague our society to help our civilization, rather than develop a pill that will make an old man's (to quote my gran) ding-a-ling hard simply because it'll make more profit.

The drive toward cash is nothing compared to the outright assault on education and knowledge. People today are rebelling against science. Despite no evidence of a link to vaccines and autism, many aren't getting the vaccines that keep us safe. There are those who say global warming is a hoax despite a nearly unanimous assertion to the contrary by the scientific community. At the lowest level of this is the question that every teacher has heard, and must find an answer for, "why do we have to learn this, when will we ever use it in our lives?" This isn't restricted simply to students, parents will say this as well. The problem is, if we only learned what we needed to get by in our daily lives, we'd still be substance farmers. We don't need cars to survive, we don't need television, radio, trains, planes, the weather channel, movies, the Internet, theatre, art, chemistry, culinary arts, iPhones, Angry Birds, Twitter, Facebook, Harry Potter, or anything else you can think of to survive. We need a place to sleep where things won't eat us, we need things that we can eat, and we need to reproduce. If we simply lived with what was absolutely necessary to survive, we'd still be living in trees with our cousins, the chimps.

The simple fact is, we need to learn to make us what we are. We are a civilization that needs art. We produce things of beauty to express ourselves and relate to others. We need the theatre, television, and books to tell the stories of comedy and drama that inspire us, touch us, and speak to us. We need to study the world around us, send probes into the outer reaches of space, go to the moon, and do all the other things. We do them, as our president said, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. We want to understand our universe, we want to be entertained, we want to live a long, happy, and enjoyable life. We need to study and be educated so we can push the boundaries of human existence and take us to "brave, new worlds". But until we have a society that values education we will fall behind other nations, and we will have failing schools. Eddie Izzard once pointed out that you can't do something great if you really don't want to. The Mona Lisa could never be created by someone who didn't really care, because then it would simply be a big yellow smiley face. If you have people who don't see education as important, they won't do well. They'll do only as well as they have to in order to get by.

From what I saw, many of the failing schools we saw had so many other issues that pull at the students and keep them from wanting to do more than just get by, or opt out completely due to these challenges. The upside I saw was that the students this documentary followed have a better chance because despite how bad the schools may be, at least they are getting the message at home that they need an education. That's better than what a lot of the students are getting. I worked last year at a good school, and yet I only had about 20 out of my 120 students show up for parent teacher conferences. Schools don't fail in a vacuum, there's a lot out there that are involved, so we need to face that and figure out how to fix it. I would be interested to know more about the SEED school that the one child was going to. Is a boarding school in the inner cities a helpful method? Who knows, but it is very interesting.

Unions
In an editorial in Newsweek recently, Michelle Rhee said that unions should do what they're doing because that is their job. It is the job of unions to look out for their members, and you can't expect them to do otherwise. I often get into debates with many of my friends over my stance on unions. I used to be somewhat anti-union. I worked in a plant, I didn't like that they took money out of my check, and I didn't see much that they did for me. I also didn't like the idea of being "on strike". I thought that unions had their day, but they were no longer necessary. This is a view that many people have now. The problem is that I don't believe this anymore because in reality it isn't the truth.

Recently we experience first hand what it's like to lose a job because someone simply didn't like you. There was no one there to say, "hang on, what give you the right to fire an employee who has done their job, made no major mistakes, and went beyond what was expected at the time of hire?" Companies pay what they do thanks to a union. The hours we work, are thanks to a union. The wages we get paid, are thanks to a union. A safe working environment, is thanks to a union. We think that because we won all these battles that the unions aren't necessary, but let me ask you what would happen if the union disappeared and the corporation was able to do as they like with no united barrier. Do you think that our socks come from South and South-East Asia because of their strong union? No, they come from Asia because there isn't someone there to tell them what they have to pay, or how safe their factories are. They are there because they can let kids work 18 hour days for pennies a day. Unions are the counterweight against those who would abuse the workers.

The film points out the abuses that teachers dealt with prior to unionization. Today we live in a world where you see teachers being fired for posting a picture on Facebook where they are holding a glass of wine or a beer. Let's examine that for a second, an adult over the age of 21, holding a legally available beverage. Not to mention the unavoidable tensions that are going to come from a profession where you are not only teaching your subject area but how to be a functioning adult. A teacher has to go into disciplinary action after a student told the teacher to "fuck off", and the teacher escorted the student out and placed a hand on the book bag (in a leading manner). If anything, every teacher should be protected by a union just due to the nature of the work.

At the same time, the unions need to recognize that they shouldn't be protecting those incapable of doing the job that they are tasked with. A doctor who can't identify organs should not be a surgeon, and a teacher that can't teach needs another career as well. I think it is a bit telling when the union wouldn't even support the optional plan in D.C. to give up tenure for a six-figure income. The unions need to fight for their members, but at the same time they also have to be willing to take common sense actions. If a teacher is doing what was seen in the undercover video, no rational person should allow them to keep their jobs. By all means, hold a hearing and give each side an opportunity to explain their side of things, but don't block all action when it clearly isn't right. There is a fine line to tread, but it's not impossible.

Teachers
This is the area I probably take the most offense of when watching this documentary. My problem is that if you find ANY article about education, simply scroll down to the comments section and I would be willing to bet a large sum of money that within the first ten comments there would be some sort of teacher bashing. There's that famous, offensive, inaccurate, and all out anti-teacher quote, "Those who can't, teach." I feel that this film often kind of pointed the finger at teachers and was ready to place the blame for failing schools, and further fans the flames of the anti-teacher crowd.

I won't go so far to say that bad teachers don't play a role, but the situation is so terribly complex that you really can't pin-point a single thing that is the cause. The truth of the matter is that there are a lot of different variables that led us to the situation we're in. The upheaval in the workforce, socio-economic status, home life, parent involvement, self-esteem, culture, and even whether or not the friggin' kid had breakfast. Yet, it always seems that teachers are the problem. And yes, there are bad teachers, I've sat in their classes as a student (I could even give you names), I've sat in their classes to observe (again, I could give you names). They are out there. However, these few bad apples have fed a general distrust and hostility toward most teachers. To steal a famous quote, teachers get no respect!

Teachers are a variable that can be controlled, but all too often we only focus on one thing at a time. What it seems is that it'll be teachers, Teachers, TEACHERS, and when that doesn't work it'll still be teachers. The fact is that if you look at these failing schools they're going to have a lot of things in common in terms of societal difficulties. A great teacher in a "drop out factory" can't teach a child that drops out. Are these students dropping out because of bad teachers, or are there other considerations as well. In the film we meet two parents who dropped out because they had to work the family business, or make money for the family. I'm pretty sure that wasn't due to bad teachers? Do people still do that today? You bet.

My problem is the ever growing stance against teachers that extends to all teachers. From their "short days" to their "summers off" to their "failure to improve test scores" and their "government killing pensions and healthcare costs". Yet, we expect these teachers to get 30+ kids to not only pay attention, but to learn, retain, engage, and become good citizens. We give teachers one period a day to "prep" for sometimes 2, 3 or even 4 different subjects, make them deal with kids who tell them to "fuck off", teachers must take home grading and read hundreds of papers, working well over eight hours a day, deal with parents, deal with "Individualized Educational Plans", special ed programs, differentiate lessons for multiple abilities, find ways to explain why the smart kid has to do more challenging work, deal with kids that "just want to know what's on the test so they only bother studying that", and try to meet state standards with very little time, often little resources, and then sometimes we'll tell them that they have to take "furlough" days where they work but just don't get paid for it. Oh, and the pay? You may start in the mid $30,000 range. If you're lucky it'll be more, if you're unlucky it'll be less. And after years and years of service you may get over $50,000, but you'll have to coach a sport, sponsor a program, be a department head, or all of the above to gain that extra pay. Oh, and don't forget you'll need your master's too.

Am I saying that's too much? No. Am I saying there shouldn't be accountability? No. What I am saying is that teachers aren't the only problem. Some bad teachers need to improve or go, but we need to stop attacking teachers. I've stopped reading comments on articles about education because it's too demoralizing. You read all about the teacher bashing and how "All teachers are overpaid... blah blah blah." and you question why you'd take a job that pays you less than the student loans you took out in order to get the degree, deal with everyone telling you how you should do your job (even when they may have barely graduated high school), be told YOU are the problem and reason kids fail, and be expected to do so much with so little.

However while all that may be true teachers need to engage in the process, the debate, and the solutions. At Eastern we'd talk about those teachers who want to just close their door and teacher. The ones that want to try and be a turtle and stay away from all the "stupid paperwork," the parents, and the administration. My professor was not kind to these teachers because we don't teach in some isolated island. We are part of an institution, but we are also part of the community. We need to reach out to parents, deal with the district, work in the system that requires things we might see as "stupid paperwork" because there are reasons behind it. It is a tough job, but it is something that we should all expect when we take a job as a teacher. We can't hide from the world, we can't sit back and do nothing because we are "safe" thanks to tenure, and we can't expect to work a job and not provide results.

Conclusion
To sum this all up, education is a tricky issue because there are so many things involved that influence the outcomes that we're seeing. There are some things that we have some control over such as funding, standards, etc. There are some things we need to work together on, such as number of days in school, hours in school, ensuring teachers are doing a good job and not reading papers, shoving kids heads in the toilet, or allowing kids to shoot crap. There are some things that are outside of a school's control like socio-economic status, crime, drugs, a disregard for education, and generational poverty. I think this film is good in a sense that it brings the subjects up and hopefully will start a dialogue and get people involved. It points out some of the flaws in our system, and hopefully gets people to find ways to repair them.

At the same time, it really doesn't offer any solutions. Sure you get some buzzwords at the end credits, but what can be done for those kids? It's heartbreaking to see those children wait for their number to be called, and to see that they didn't make the cut. I wonder what will happen to them, if they'll succeed and become a vet, or whatever it is they wished to be, or if their "communities" will destroy them. In the end, we need to look at the whole picture and face some hard facts about all the issues facing the system. We also need to learn to talk to each other and communicate. In the environment we're in, it has become an "us" vs. "them" kind of showdown, and that will not solve the problems. Those being attacked will not be willing to budge because of how this issue is being dealt with, e.g. perhaps the tenure for high pay would have been better received if the plan had collaboration rather than the top down format that it took.

I feel this, like many things, needs a reset. Teachers need respect, districts need the ability to hire good teachers and remove bad ones, at the same time both need to better be able to define what is "good" and "bad". An acceptable form of accountability needs to be developed more than some standardized test score. But, above all, education needs to be valued in our society. Places like Finland have the best schools because there is a value in education. To be a teacher you have to come from the top of your class, teaching is seen as an honorable profession, and there is an expectation on high student achievement. Here, you can fail the basic skills test multiple times, be in the bottom of your class, and yet still somehow get your license.

The problems are complex, the film points out some flaws, some successes, and some road blocks. In the end, like many things in our world today, people need to come together and collaborate, compromise, and find a solution.

Side Note
Congratulations! You made it to the end. I apologize if I rambled a bit, repeated myself, or for any typographical errors. This was a bit off the top of my head right after watching the movie, and I was a bit fired up. I welcome your comments, so please feel free to leave one!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Little Nostalgic

Last month I had the goal of uploading more videos but my camera died and my link between my old videos and my computer was lost. OR SO I THOUGHT! Turns out my new camera does have the bridge function between older units and the computer. I had read that it didn't have that capability and I couldn't really find anything in the menus that would indicate I could use it in the way I used my old camera. So, now that I have a way to upload old video I've been trying to get old things uploaded as soon as possible. The problem is that I think some of the tapes are starting to degrade, so I gotta be quick.

I think I've uploaded about a dozen tapes in the last week or so. Nothing is all that exciting, just your general home movie kind of stuff. Well, the last five videos that I've been uploading was our first trip ever to Florida. This was a trip we took back in 2002 with Jeff and Sara. I had never been to Florida, and it was our first year in our apartment, and we sat down sometime in early spring and decided that we all wanted to take a vacation and that we should go to Florida. So, in August we all took a week off and drove down to Florida. We had a nice cheap hotel right on the beach, went swimming, went to Disney, and just relaxed.

Lately I've been a bit nostalgic for back when we lived in our apartment. I'm not sure exactly why, but something about it I kind of miss. I don't know why this is. It's not like I have less responsibilities then, or we did any more back then that we don't do now. But there's just something about it that I've been thinking about lately and kind of missing or remembering fondly. Things like having a weird answering machine message from Strong Bad, cooking things in the deep fryer (which explains how I got fat), going roller blading around the complex at 1 am, messing with Becky's desktop image. I've just been thinking about it lately, and I'm sure I'm thinking about it more fondly than it actually was, but that's how things are once it gets a good bit of time since then.

I suppose part of it could be that some of the personal connections that used to have then I don't have anymore. So looking back you can see what is gone and won't come back. Can things change and be rebuilt? Yes, nothing is impossible, but the chances are so low and things have gone so far that it's probably pretty much unrealistic to think that it'll ever be close to the same. That's unfortunate and makes me sad when I think about it, but that is the way of life. Constantly change, constantly moving, and if you do nothing the current will take you where the current takes you. You may one day look around and not be thrilled at where the current has traveled, but if you don't make course corrections, then you'll just end up where you end up.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Game Night

In celebration of the first weekend not involved with Drama/MIFA we decided the best thing would be to have a game night! Tonight we actually got around to playing games which was good! It was nice to be able to relax a little and not have to be at some school for 10 hours being all worried about how well the kids would do. So, we played some games, sat around and chatted, and just had a nice time.

Not much else other than that. I think running will start either tomorrow or Monday.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Jolly Friday

Well, today is Friday and it was quite nice weather wise lately. We got some nice warm weather to get rid of all that snow. The question is, what to do tonight? Well Dani called and said she wanted to walk around downtown. So, we headed out to Ann Arbor and met at Borders to do a bit of shopping. Finally got a calendar for the kitchen and one for the office. The upside of that is that all calendars are one dollar. The downside is that the selection is crap. We ended up one showing pictures of landmarks in Berlin, and the other was nuns having fun. We also got a nice book on making different types of bread.

After shopping we walked around a bit trying to find somewhere to get some food and drinks. Being downtown there were a lot of options but where to go? Quite a few places were really packed so we decided to go to the Jolly Pumpkin. This place does a lot of organic and locally sourced food items. There were a number of things that looked like they would be tasty but in the end I decided to go with a BLT. It was pretty good! They had it on this "farm house bread" which was tasty, the down side was that the sandwich was really oily/greasy. The fries were good and overall the meal wasn't bad. I think I'd go there again.

Other than that I'm almost ready to start running again. Did a lot of walking today so that was good.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Next Stop: CRAZY TOWN!

On account of it being so nice and warm out, and wanting to enjoy the fabulous weather... we decided to go see a movie. Ok, that's not exactly what happened, but Becky was all, "I'M IN A GOOD MOOD! LET'S DO SOMETHING FUN!" So we decided first to head downtown and get some delicious Brew Co. food! It was fantastic! I always get this super tasty sandwich that is an organic chicken breast grilled and then put on an onion roll with onion, spinach, pesto, and goat cheese! YUM!

So, after we had our dinner we headed out to the movies to burn through some of the MILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF GIFT CARDS. Alright, it's not really that much, but it is a lot and we haven't used very much. I think we've seen one movie since christmas, and I don't remember what it was. OH! The King's Speech (also very good). Tonight we decided to go see Black Swan since it was on the list, we never got around to it, and finally had the time.

First off I can sum up the entire movie in 3 words: Bitches be crazy. The deal is that there's a ballerina who's kind of frigid and not all that up to playing a more evil, less perfect, feeling, seducing, kind of character. However, she gets the part anyway and has to try and find this character that is nothing like her. The upside is SHE IS CRAZY! So hey, tap into some of that and you're set. Incidentally, Newsweek did an interesting article recently about why people like movies with crazy women in it. If you're interested check it out.

Overall, I have to say I enjoyed the movie. First it was kind of creepy without being one of those lame horror movies which I generally don't enjoy. Next since the characters are in a production of Swan Lake, you get all that great music. And finally, the whole movie you have to question what is actually real, and what is just part of a bonkers, bat-shit-crazy, unbalances figments of her imagination! You get to the end and can think, "Wow, so... that was interesting!" Therefore, I give this a pretty good rating. I'd say check it out, perhaps go for a matinee.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Do You Have Black Friends?

I was asked today if I had any black friends. That was weird. So, I thought for a second and decided to take the friends I spend the most time with, which is Eric, Jeff and Chrissy, and responded with, "Yes, I would say half my friends are black." Now, that's a bit of an exaggeration because I have more than 3 friends. But I decided to only use three friends because the school I was at was VERY white. There were certainly elements of unintentional racism because apparently they don't have any black people near by. There were also some blatant racism, and a sever problem with homophobia. Apparently the word of choice was "fag", which as people who know me will realize is a word I HATE. Anyone who uses that word pisses me off. It's one of the few things that will really make me angry. But, there it was.

Being a sub really kind of sucks. You have to get up at 5:00am to see if you can find a job before all the good ones are taken. You go into a room where you get to do things like, "finish this worksheet" or "watch this movie". So really it's just glorified baby sitting. Then, you're in with kids who think they can get away with anything because you're a sub. You get no respect. It's really pretty draining and stressful. I'll be glad when I'm in something long-term or permanent. Ahhh well.

Still not running, I think I'm getting to about 90+% but still not ready for it. It's my hope that within the next few days I'll be back on my schedule! WOO!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Snakes! Why's Does It Always Have To Be Snakes?

As we know, Indiana Jones doesn't like snakes. Apparently one almost ate him ones, and then there was like tons of them crawling all over him. You know, things that cross out children and then cause ever lasting scars into adulthood. Apparently.

In much the same fashion I have to say, "Middle School! Why does it always have to be middle school?" Today I had to sub at a middle school. It seems like I'm ALWAYS at middle schools. I think I've been at a high school about once for every five times I've been at a middle school! Is there really anything wrong with middle school? No, not really. Well, except that they're little demons. I don't care for that age group, though I have to say some middle schools are better than others.

The school I was in today was pretty good. The kids all acted fine, but that might have been because the lesson was a police officer doing a program dealing with avoiding gangs. I imagine having a cop in the room helps with behavior.

Anyhow, that's a about it. Still not at 100% so no running. BLAH! I'm so out of it! GRRR!!! Back soon hopefully, though on the upside I'm still losing weight even though I'm not running!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Movie Monday!

Happy Valenteen Day!

So, tonight we had a school board meeting. It was a good time, but very boring. Nothing interesting happened at all, though the board apparently didn't have their script together because it seems like they had issues with who was supposed to make motions and second them. Usually it seems very tightly scripted, but tonight everyone was flubbing it up. On the upside they were very interested to hear the great news from our MIFA competitions. So that was super good news.

Then for the evening we decided for a Gilmore dinner. We got some italian cheese bread, and then chinese food. It was pretty delicious. We also watched our Netflix. We got The Social Network. It was ok, I really enjoyed the writing, but that's Aaron Sorkin for you. After that was over we watched Casablanca. That movie I love, it is way better than The Social Network. Anyhow, that's it for today.

In other news, still sick and not running. Hopefully over soon.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Technical Success!

I've been having some technical difficulties lately. First, I can't find some files that I KNOW I have around here somewhere. Then I have trouble with my video camera. Well, a few days ago I discovered that most of my tapes I've recorded won't play anymore. To make it worse, for a while I thought that I had accidentally recorded over our wedding video because the tapes wouldn't play so I thought it was a blank.

Well, I'm not sure exactly what I did, but the videos are now playing, and I didn't tape over anything. In addition, I've found some interesting features that may solve another one of my problems! So, all in all a pretty good day in the world of technology! WOO!

In other news, still under the weather, so not running. Feeling better than a few days ago. Sore throat is gone and all I have left is a bit of congestion. Hopefully I'll be back to running again soon.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

MIFA Regionals

Well, today was the MIFA regional competition. We did really well for our district competition; we got the highest score and a rating of I. For regionals we were up against one school we competed with at districts, one school that always wins, and one school we did well against last year. So, we were cautiously optimistic going into today. The show as great, the kids are working really hard, and I think they had a good chance at going to state competition. In order to go to states you have to get a score of I and be one of the top two schools. Well, as it turns out, we got a I, but we ended up coming in 3rd place by only two points!!!

So, we got a I at districts, and a I at regionals, but we didn't make it to states. This was a really good score, and better than we've ever done before, yet it still feels like a loss. There is still a chance that we could make it to states because there are also a number of "wild card" slots that we may qualify for. But, that seems like a consolation prize really, like "here you didn't really win, but we will throw you in anyway." Some of the kids took it pretty hard too, and I totally understand how they feel.

But at the same time, they should be super proud of how things turned out. They got two I scores, which we've never done before. Last year we didn't do well at all during regionals, and this time we missed beating the school that ALWAYS wins by only 2 points! So, they did a great job, and if we get a "wild card" then they earned it and if they don't they should all be thrilled with how well they did. From now on they will be the score to beat, so great job goes to all the cast and crew of MIFA!

Friday, February 11, 2011

One Act Festival

Well, after two and a half months it's finally One Acts! I agreed to direct a show, but added a second so we'd get a few more kids cast. I picked for my first show "Actor's Nightmare" which is a really funny show. I had a lot of inexperienced actors, and I didn't have the rehearsal time that I needed due to conflicts with the MIFA show. Overall the show went pretty well. We had a technical glitch where I didn't get to do one of the overhead announcements. Also there was a LOT of ad libbing which didn't make me happy. But, everyone seemed to enjoy it, and it got a lot of laughs.

For my second show I picked "The Bear" which is a play by Anton Checkov. This one was a really hard one to do because I think a lot of humor is lost somewhere in translation. So, I didn't feel it was an overly funny script, but my actors did a great job and creating some characters that were fun to watch. So, in the end my second show that I hadn't planned to do turned out really really well! The festival went really well also, we made a good deal of money, and had some great audiences. I wish we had gotten better advertising, but I think this year had better turn out than in previous years. So, all in all, a great One Act festival!

In other news, didn't run again. Day three of a sore throat. Also getting a stuffy nose and a headache. As soon as I'm feeling better I'm going back to running.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thursday

Didn't run again today. I've fallen off the wagon. Though I also still have that sore throat, I'm worried I'm getting sick.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wednesday

Didn't run today. Getting a sore throat, but I'm not sure if it's from yelling at the a-hole 6th graders, or I'm getting sick.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tuesday

Didn't run today, but instead spent 35-45 minutes shoveling heavy snow that got plowed into my driveway.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday

Subbed at a middle school today. It was ok.

Spent 35 minutes on the treadmill today, and read for about an hour and a half.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sunday

Didn't run today, but back from Mid-Mich, so should be back to it tomorrow.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Mid-Michigan Day Two

No gym. Didn't run today.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Mid-Michigan

At Mid-Michigan this weekend. Don't know if there will be a gym there. Didn't run today, too tired this morning.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February Goals

I had planned on listing some new goals for February, but it turned out that the 1st was a great big ball of sucktastic shittery of shit. I'm still quite sad, but things must go on, so here are some goals for February.

Goal One: Continue running. Last month it was 31 days of at least 30 minutes. I'm going to keep that goal, but with a few minor changes. I'm allowing myself 3 pass days, so that means at least 25 days. However, in addition I want to add in at least 8 days of yoga. So 25 or more days of running, and 8 days of Yoga.

Goal Two: Read at least 30 minutes every day. I had a reading goal last month, but it wasn't specific. I hope this will allow me to catch up on my back issues of Time, but also start something fun.

Goal Three: Organize and file my teaching files.

I can't think of any other goals, so I'm just going to leave it at this. Since it's the third already I'll just do a quick update. Did 30 minutes on the 1st, 90 on the 2nd, and 30 today. Also met the reading goal today, but not for the first and the second due to the crap that was going on. So far off to a good start.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Great Dictator


You never know at birth who will grow up to be an evil person. Baby Hitler, Baby Stalin, Baby Norbert. At birth all these people are just babies, and no one knows what life will bring. Looking back people may think that a time machine and a gun could help solve a lot of problems, or in this case an evil baby orphanage. The point is, that when we first got Norbert we had no idea that eventually she could grow to become the evil that she did. I mean, she didn't get the nick name "The Heart of Darkness" for being cute and cuddly.

But, to be fair, she really wasn't that evil. She did some evil things, like pee on our roommates clean clothes... that were in the dryer... because she decided she didn't like him... or on his bed... or any of his stuff... So yeah, that was kind of bitchy. She also would take random swipes at the dog just for being near her. Or just the general look of "Hey, YOU. Fuck off." She just seemed like she was a terribly angry cat.

But, really she wasn't all that angry or even all that evil. Thought I think that was just to me. From the picture above you can see what a cute little fluff ball she was when she was first born. She was originally an outside cat, and was born in August of 2001. When we moved into our apartment in December of 2001, we decided to take her with us. She was a bit runty, but when we brought her home she thought she had landed in some alien world. She had live outside, and by December it was pretty cold.

The first day we brought her home we gave her a bath, dried her off and put her on the bed. Bathing was always quite the task because Norbert would grow extra arms like Shiva. I recall once as a small kitten she somehow managed to pull EVERYTHING that was on the counter into the sink with her. Then somehow managed to get her claws under the mirror. I'm sure the video would be hilarious seeing me pulling on a wet cat who is attached to a mirror next to a sink full of toiletries. She spent the first few days walking around doing nothing but purring and walking funny on the strangely soft carpet and bed. In fact sometimes she'd just stand still and kneed the floor because it was so soft. She eventually got over this.

She had a happy couple of days until we brought her sister home. We brought her in the house, and Norbert looked at her, her eyes went all slitty, and she stopped purring for a few months. She was not impressed. Though, I seem to recall that Fluffy and her brother (later called Pig) would gang up on Norbert, so surely that was why she wasn't happy. But after not too long the two of them got over their thing, and got to the point that they couldn't be separated without one going crazy.

Yet, the evil continued to show itself. But also a sense that she didn't quite get what everything was about. For example, we all know that Fluffy is beautiful, like she always says, "I'm a goddamn work of art." She likes to sit and roll around on the floor saying, "Isn't it cuuuuute, when I roooollll on the flooooor! Isn't it cute???" Norbert never quite understood that, but she'd always try. She'd say things like, "Isn't it cute... when I throw up in your shoes? Isn't that cute???"

It was always clear that Norbert wanted to dominate the world. She always had a look about her that seemed to say, "What? I wasn't doing anything." Or even, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. As she got older it was clear that if she had the means she would form a dictatorship and rule over us all with an iron fist. She became fans of evil dictators. Her heros became Stalin, Castro, and Chavez. And despite all of this, she loved every christmas to sit and stare up at the lights. No doubt hoping that this year Santa would bring her an AK-47 or a howitzer.

She also craved meat. Chicken. Meaty Food. Bacon. If you pulled out the cutting board she'd come running. Again, giving the opportunity to feast on flesh, she would take it asking someone to pass the salt. I'm not convinced that she wouldn't eat us if she had the chance. In fact, I think Becky was seconds away from human sacrifice one morning when I came down to find her surrounded by the cats and that gleam of death in Norbert's eye. I also swear I sawher hurrying to put away a grass skirt, a skull hat and a long staff as I entered the bedroom.

In fact, on our first anniversary we went to Discovery Cove in Florida.
While we were there we went to their bird sanctuary and came across a bird that was fed a diet of dead baby mice. Looking at the bird we thought it looked a bit too much like Norbert. Plus, it fested on dead babies??? That is certainly evil enough. Perhaps we had actually discovered that Norbert had perfected shape shifting in her evil lab. Either way, this bird was Norbert, with wings. Another frightening thought. In the words of Olin Britt, "DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!!"

Even being evil, she was a favorite among small children. When Josie was very small they came out for a visit and Norbert allowed herself to be carried around the house, at times by her head, and did not even retaliate. Josie even called her, "My Norbit". Even recently when little Cadence was over for a visit she took a liking to Norbert and chased her all around the house. Though, this time there was a cat slap to a baby, but still Cadence was like, "I WANT THAT KITTY!" I think Norbert allowed this kind of treatment because she was attempting to grow her own minions. You know, in that kind of Hitler Youth format where she could be sure that she had all the soldiers she could get. I have no evidence, but I think it is also entirely possible that Norbert experimented with mind control or brainwashing.

Despite all her evil, and her dislike of just about everyone, for some reason she decided she loved me. Even though I would do things that any other cat would find terribly irritating, such as Bat Cat. Or Machine Gun Cat. Or Dancing Cat. Or simply pet her the wrong way so that she'd look a mess. No matter how annoying I may have been, she loved me anyway. She would sit on my lap for hours, sleep next to me, follow me around like a puppy. Come running when ever I called her. And most importantly, she never killed me in my sleep. So, when even today when I picked her up, and she felt terrible, she tried to purr. With what little energy she had, she looked at me and tried to purr the best she could. She may have just been a pet, but she had so much personality, and was a part of the family for the last ten years. The stories we created about her, the voice I created for her to narrate her thoughts and opinions, and her general being are something that may never be replaced.

So, while I'm sad that I've lost my little "gremlin" I try to think of the good times, and what a joy it was to have a cat with such attitude. I will miss all the stories that I would make up about her. I will miss narrating her daily thoughts. I will miss having a cat that wanted nothing more than to sit with me and purr. But, even though she is gone I still can smile when I hear some music on the radio and think, "This would be the kind of military march that she would play at her funeral." I then can picture the crowds of people lining some city square (perhaps even Red Square), to watch her procession go past. Tanks thunder through. A flyover. A parade of ICBMs, followed by line after line of the soldiers she would have commanded. The flag flies at half staff, and in the distance music is heard... wait, is that the Anthem of the Soviet Union? Much like Professor Binns, I think her evil may live on allowing us to continue to tell stories of the evil cat called Norbert.

Below is some Norbert written items from my old MySpace blog. This is a story that Norbert wrote years ago. Be advised, she uses adult language.

December 2, 2006
***DISCLAIMER***The following is a bit of "Christmas Cheer" from my oldest cat Norbert. Norbert is an angry, violent, foul mouth cat as you may remember from her pervious posts. She enjoys yelling at people, assulting people, and being a unimaginable bitch. The following story contains foul language and does not express the views or opinions of this Myspace page.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
By: Norbert
 
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, the dogs hanging from a tree (in that oh so happy way)!
 
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two bits of bacon
and the dogs hanging from a tree.
 
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three less cats
to bits of bacon
and the dogs hanging from a tree
 
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four swear word
three less cats
two bits of bacon 
and the dogs hanging from a tree
 
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, FIVE DEAD PUP....
OH MY GOD!! MY WISH IS COMING TRUE!!! THE DOGS ARE HAVING ROPES ATTACHED TO THEIR NECKS AND BEING LED OUTSIDE BY THE TWO-LEGGED FOOD DISPENSERS!!!!!!! 

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!! I must go to the window to watch those bad breath, rancid ass, drooly dumb fucking asshats swing! OH HAPPY HAPPY DAY!!!!****REVISION****Much to my disappointment they walked out of view so I can't see the little fuckers swing!!! While this is a bit disappointing, it is not the end of the world! Perhaps they are filming the event to for my enjoyment!!! It would be a great gift idea! *HINT HINT*!**REVISION PART TWO***To my continued disappointment, after about 10 minutes they returned with the ropes still around the necks of the dogs, and came back in the house... These two-legged food dispensers must be real pussies and were unable to follow through. I must rewrite Santa, I hope there's still time!!

Below is a joke Norbert wrote. As I've said, she doesn't quite understand things... like humor.

November 3, 2006
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Norbert!
Norbert Who??
I JUST KILLED YOUR PUPPY! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!


And a final story from Norbert.

September 28, 2006
***DISCLAIMER***The following is a story from my oldest cat Norbert. Norbert is an angry, violent foul mouth cat. She enjoys yelling at people, assulting people, and being a unimaginable bitch. The following story contains foul language and does not express the views or opinions of this Myspace page.

The Puppy Who Lost His Way
By: Norbert, Queen of the Universe and Overlord of the Weak

Once upon the time there was a puppy named Dumb Shit. Dumb Shit was the dumbest fucking dog in the history of dumb fucking dogs. One day while he was rolling in garbage and sniffing his own ass he hear a car and began to chase it, as he was a dumb fucking dog who is so stupid that it chases cars. Well, finally the car ran so far ahead of Dumb Shit that he could no longer see it. After a few moments he realized he didn't know where he was. It was starting to get dark and scary, and Dumb Shit didn't know what to do. 

Just then he heard a voice say "Hey Dumb Shit!" Dumb Shit was scared! Who knew his name way out here. Then he saw something behind him. It must be whoever was behind him that knew his name. So Dumb Shit turned to the right, but the stranger turned and escaped. So Dumb Shit turned to the left, but again the stranger eluded him (not that Dumb Shit knew what eluded means since he's a dumb fucking moronic dog that eats his own sick)! Finally the Dumb Shit caught the stranger with a quick and piercing bite! And at that same time someone bit Dumb Shit's tail causing him to cry out in fear. 

But the cry that Dumb Shit let out alerted the two legged food dispensers to come running to save him. So they walked out of the house and to the end of the driveway... BECAUSE DUMB SHIT BEING THE STUPID FUCKING DOG THAT HE WAS ONLY MADE IT TO THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY!

Dumb Shit returned to the house where he was finally safe... For now, or at least until he falls asleep and then he gets his eyes clawed out for being the dumb fucking piece of shit that he is.



Tuesday, February 1, 2011

And The Carrier Came Home Empty


As you all know if you read previous blogs, my little kitty Norbert had some trouble with bladder stones and had to go see the vet. This wasn't really a big deal because the same thing happened to her sister, Fluffy. With fluffy we had to put her on a special diet of food that was supposed to help dissolve the crystals and she'd be good as new. This worked out pretty well and saved us a ton of money from having to spring for surgery. Well, when Norbert had the same problem, we were crossing our fingers for similar results. They gave her a special food, with the same routine of eat it, come back in two weeks for another injection, and an x-ray a month later. So, for the past week an a half we had been feeding her a special diet, which she seemed to think she was in heaven because it was all meaty food, which she LOVES.

Things seemed to be going ok, but on Sunday she looked like she didn't feel too good. She just wanted to lay down and not move too much. I didn't think too much about it because if I had stones that were passing, I may not want to move around too much either. However, she also stopped eating which got me a bit worried, but sometimes she's picky. Well, as of this morning she still wasn't eating, and she never goes a full day with no food. Therefore I decided that she should head into the vet to see what is going on.

So, I took a shower and loaded Norbert into the cat carrier and headed out to our vet. I expected that her symptoms meant that rather than the food we'd have to opt for the surgery. Expecting this I transferred some money fr
om the savings account to account for the extra cost that I was expecting once I got in. The vet we go to is very nice, you just walk in and you don't have to worry about appointments. I walked into the vet and told them I was with Norbert and explained what I was told last time I was in. Then I told them that she had stopped eating and didn't seem to want to move too much. They said they'd have a tech come out and take her back to look her over. Meanwhile I waited in the lobby until the tech came back to send me to one of the rooms. I waited in the room for a few minutes before I got to see one of the vets.

When the vet came in she asked what had changed since I brought her in about a week and a half ago and I again explained what was going on. She said she wanted to do some blood work because she was concerned with how tiny she was and that she seemed to be dehydrated. She I said that was fine and was told that it would be about 25-30 minutes for the blood results to come back. She also told me that while they were taking her back that Norbert had a seizure and they wanted to put in an IV so they could give her medicine if needed. Again I said that was fine and waited, though slightly more worried.

After about 20-25 minutes a tech popped her head in to tell me that the results were back and that she had elevated levels of potassium. I have no idea what that means, but she told me a doctor would be in shortly, but they also said that Norbert wasn't doing so good. Again, more nervous because this trip that I thought would be a surgery solution was becoming serious. The vet comes back in and tells me that the reason this is happening is because she's having some trouble with her kidneys. She said they were going to try and use some medication to try and get the potassium out of the kidney and into the cells. However, she also told me that things weren't going well, and it could end up that things might get to the point that there won't be anything that they could do. So again I start waiting, but not too long after that they come back in to tell me that things aren't going well at all and ask me if I'd like to come back to see her.

So I went back and the vet tells me that they're trying to administer the medication, but that it isn't work. After trying to do everything they could Norbert became unresponsive and passed away. The final lab tests showed that she was suffering from kidney failure, but also had heart trouble as well as an overactive thyroid. The combination meant that even if we had figured things out a week an a half ago, there would not have been any options as one treatment would just cause the other ailments to become worse. So, the trip I thought would end in checking her in and getting surgery ended with an empty carrier and a sadness that I was not ready for.

I will miss my little Norbert. The house is a little more quiet, and a little more empty tonight.