I Need A Young Priest, And An Old Priest!

Alright, there are a lot of things that make me go "WTF?!" However, it's not often I think "HOLY SHIT DUDE! THIS IS NUTS! F THAT S IN THE A, MAN!"

Well, the other day while eating lunch I read this article online from TIME. HOLY SHIT DUDE! THIS IS NUTS! F THAT S IN THE A, MAN!

It's an article about this guy who followed a priest through EXORCISM TRAINING! WHAT?!?!?!?! Seriously??? SERIOUSLY!? siriusly?!?! That's crazy! I think the part that was the nuttiest was:

"Most of the exorcisms that Father Gary witnesses are fairly low-key. What happens during the dramatic ones?

If an exorcist sees 100 people, there are only going to be 2 or 3 that are dramatic. And I would characterize those as being when the person actually speaks to the exorcist. Quite often they'll be burping or belching or coughing or yawning. There's moaning and screaming, too. But in the stronger cases, in almost every instance, you'll have the voice. The person will speak in a demonic voice and they'll say things like, "This person belongs to us," "You have no power over us," "You can't defeat us." They are usually very dramatic in the sense that the person will be screaming at the top of their lungs. There can also be shaking. Picture a person sitting in a chair with their arms sticking straight out, their legs sticking straight out, convulsing. That's common.

But usually, the more dramatic cases deal with people who are screaming, using their voice, shoving and punching, getting up, smacking their head against the wall, just very violent. And that voice is beyond a simple mimic of a strange voice. It's very uncanny, very unnatural. And then, of course, there's vomiting, which is common. Father Carmine saw a case where a woman vomited up a small black toad that was still alive. He went to catch it and it dissolved into saliva. I had another priest who I talked to who dealt with a woman who vomited up seven little black nails, six of which dissolved into this black liquid. Father Carmine saw a woman vomiting up buckets of human sperm."

WHAT?!?!!? Ok, first, buckets of human sperm... now that's not a demon possession, that's just a dirty ho-bag. But the nails and the live frogs dissolving into black liquid and saliva?!?!??! WTF!? FthatSintheA! That's just weird. So, I thought I'd share.

I'm Not Listening! LALALALALALALA!

Here's the deal: I'm currently taking a class on argument and debate. It's no big deal, the professor is really laid back, so there's not a lot of pressure with the speeches we have to do. The process is, we pick a topic come up with two arguments, and then do a debate. For example, my last speech was on school funding. So, the other day a girl decided to do her speech on gay marriage. She had very good arguments for allowing gay marriage, which was good. So, after a speech you have a student cross examine you, trying to poke holes in your argument, and you have to defend. So after the designated person asks their questions the whole class is open to ask questions as well. Now, we have about three ultra-conservative bible beaters in our class. And they all decided to pipe up and started asking bible based questions.

So, eventually the professor cut off the argument and decided to give his thoughts on it. He was very polite about what he thought and said that he feels that the message of the bible is love etc. So therefore a lot of hateful views held by those who proclaim themselves christians are contrary to what the bible is all about. And that in this world we need to love each other and be kind etc. Pretty much he said he feels the bible is about being nice, caring for you neighbor and not being a total asshat.

Well, apparently this was not ok with one girl. She starting snarking to her neighbor about how it's not ok for him to tell her that her beliefs are wrong. And that she's not paying to take a class to listen to his opinions. Then she got all red in the face, and stormed out of the class.

Ok, I'm not really irked by the debate. I understand that not everyone in the world agree. I also understand that issues like this get kind of heated. But here's my problem. People freaking out so much that they have to storm out because they don't want to hear what someone else has to say. I'm sorry, but you have to listen to other points of view. And you need to shut up and deal with it because you can't just storm out on someone every time they disagree with you. I've listened to a few speeches that I totally disagreed with, but we have to listen to what others have to say and then have a logical argument to oppose it when we disagree. We can not just throw a bitch-fit and act like a child. When we start to do that we end up at a point where things get really bad and nothing can get done because there's no dialogue.

Plus, the guy was being REALLY calm and nice about it. He wasn't yelling or screaming or being a total dick about it. He was just saying "looooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeeeeee" becuase he's an old hippy. So, really when you look at it, she was saying "no, love is wrong, I believe in hate and it's wrong to tell me otherwise." Dude... that's a bad argument. But hey, we all listened to you spew trash and didn't storm out on you, so perhaps you should grow up and join the big kids table and realize you're going to have to listen to other viewpoints and you can't just storm out when someone disagrees with you.

Damn, Dirty Apes!!!

Watch your ass Homo Sapiens! That's right bitches! Monkeys are on the march and they're flinging rocks at YOU! Ok, here's the deal, monkeys are slowly planning to take us out, and we've been underestimating them for YEARS! For a long time scientists have thought that animals don't really think about the future or make plans for the future. And that's how they're going to get us! They're lulling us into a false sense of security!!!

But do not fear! Because we've got a warning sign everyone! That's right!!! Those damn dirty apes have tipped their hand! So, while they may be thinking ahead, I guess they haven't learned about strategy yet!! Hmmm... or perhaps they are again lulling us into another false sense of security... but I digress!

So, the BBC reported in this article that a male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo has planned hundreds of attacks on poor unsuspecting visitors. So, Mr. Angry McMonkeyPants has been collecting rocks and stockpiling them, then when the zoo gets busy he was all "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FIEND!!!!" What's more, Chimpy O'Pooflinger learned to find the weak areas of the concrete by going Tappy-Tappy to hear which areas were damage due to weather then hits it until nice throwable bits to fling and the stupid humans!

So, thanks to Monkey Magoo for tipping us off to the monkey's abilities to plan the overthrow of all humans! Everyone start hoarding bananas to barter with our evil monkey overlords should we fail to stop these poo and now ROCK throwing monkeys!!!

[Don't] Watchmen Review

Tonight Beckers (she loves when people call her that... try it sometime!) and I got free passes to a screening of Watchmen. This is a comic book movie that comes out this Friday for those of you who don't know. To start I have to say I'm not a huge Watchmen fanboy or anything. I have the book [graphic novel... NERDS], and I've read a bit of it and haven't finished it, not due to dislike or anything like that, just because I haven't had the time. So, there you have it, I've got the book, I've read a bit, I'm not a crazy fanboy. Now that disclaimer is out of the way...

I give this movie a rating of: Wait for the dollar theater.

This rating is pretty much equal with wait for video, but I decided to go with the dollar theater because at least then you can see some of the special effects on a big screen.

Alright, here's the deal. I found this movie boring. It was nearly 3 hours long... and you could tell. As the end drew closer I got really restless and wanted the freaking thing to end! Now, since I haven't read the whole thing I don't know, but it feels like they kept it EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE BOOK! Now I'm sure the super-geeks out there will be spooging over the thought of that. However for the average moviegoer this really made the whole thing drag. In addition, the story was totally ADD. There were a lot of things going on, and not in a good way. Half the time I felt like it was really pointless plot that served no purpose other than to take up time. I also thought the characters were really boring and I didn't feel overly attached to any of them or care about what happened to them. I would say if you simmered down the basic plot, then you have a good plot, however it felt like the film had no focus and that the audience was being dragged along on a seemingly endless plot that when it finally arrived to an end you were left going... ok... whatever.

Overall, I wasn't impressed, and I usually like the comic book type movies. I wasn't attached to any characters, the storytelling was terrible, and it was way too long for someone who isn't a super fan of Watchmen. As my grandma says, "It was fine, if you like that sort of thing." So if you like Watchmen, then go see it, I'm sure you'd probably enjoy it. If you're not a huge fan I'd probably choose a different movie and wait for this one to hit the dollar theater.

On the upside was the laziest survey guy in the world as we left the show. He just stood there and said "Any thoughts on the movie? Didja like it?" He wasn't talking to anyone specific and I didn't feel like he really cared. I think if I had said "Eh" when he said "didja like it" he probably would have responded with "fair enough".