Restless And Cranky

I get cranky when I feel restless and stuck.  I've been debating a number of things to do with school, work, projects, and I feel like I've got nowhere to go with any of them, which makes me really cranky.  Or worse, what I'm currently doing is a big stupid waste of time.

Basically, I'm feeling like I'd rather just sit on the couch all day and make faces at Sal.  No school, no work, just sitting and doing nothing.

It's a tough spot to be in because then it'll just turn right around and I'll feel like I need to get all sorts of things done and get annoyed that I haven't done enough toward them.  It's stupid.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Had a last minute change of plans for dinner and ended up at Don Juan, with this fancy looking little pepper on their menu.  Sal slept through the entire dinner because she always seems to have nap time around the time we eat dinner, which is super convenient for us.

Embarassed Vindication

I think I mentioned my group film project.  It was probably the worst group experience that I have yet to have had.  There was constant bickering, there was poor execution, there was unwillingness to compromise, or to listen to better ideas.  It was simply the worst, and it left me stressed out and annoyed.  I was actually pretty thrilled and angry when the person with the final job didn't finish it in time and couldn't turn it in because it meant that they would watch it at the one class that I couldn't attend, so I wouldn't have to sit through what I knew would be the embarrassment that was our film.  Much to my surprise when I came in to class today I found out that they forgot to watch it, so we watched it today.

It was actually the last time I watched the final product, and I was kind of shocked to find that the other person had removed a third of the footage for an undetermined reason.  The cuts didn't make sense and left the film choppy.  She did add a few effects in that helped, but my cut was fine, she just needed to add the sounds.  Unfortunately the sounds she added were few and totally lame.  For something that was supposed to be scary it wasn't.  In fact, one of the first comments were "was that supposed to be scary" which is instant failure.  The other fun part was that I was the only person in the group at class so I had to answer every question that was thrown at me about it, and was the only one to hear all the criticism.

However, the good part was that everything I had said, and everything that I had pushed for in production process was suggested by two professionals who run the class.  They identified the weaknesses that the group had argued about and that the self appointed leader had ignored.  They said that the sound was terrible, but said that the cinematography was excellent and even took a few of the shots and paused it to show why they were so good, which was excellent because that was the one part of the project that I had 100% control of.  So, it was nice to hear that what I did was good, and what I thought was right even when it was ignored and we ended up with an embarrassingly rudimentary movie.

The upside is we got new groups and I am thankfully not in a group with anyone that I was in a group with before.  Downside was that half the group wasn't there today.  Upside was that the guy that was there seems like he'll be ok to work with.  We got a basic idea for our final movie, and did some good brainstorming so we think when we come in on Wednesday with the rest of the group we should be pretty solid on what we're going to do.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Ronan patiently waited for his evening walk tonight, and was quite excited to go.  When he got outside he didn't do anything and just kind of stood there staring.  That's fine, except he was super annoying about wanting to go out for a good 30 minutes to an hour before we went.  He's lucky he's so cute.

Vacation?

Last week I started looking into vacation ideas for this year.  I'm not sure I'm sold on what to do for a vacation, or if I'd even want to go somewhere.  I don't necessarily like the idea of leaving Sal and going somewhere when she's so young.  That's a huge inconvenience to people to suddenly have a baby hanging around for a while.  At the same time, I don't necessarily want to take her some places, and other places we may go wouldn't be a good spot for a baby.  I mean, hiking up a mountain is probably not the most baby friendly of activities.

To add on, this is also our 10 year anniversary in May, so it feels like we should do something fun, but we kind of went on a bigger vacation last year (a cruise) because we realized we'd probably not be able to do anything this year.  Originally we discussed hosting a big party for it, but I don't think that will happen.

So the question is, what to do?

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Sal was doing her pushups today, she moved a little too quick so I didn't get a good picture so it's a bit blurry, but she was having a nice time and I decided it was a good idea to take a break and make faces at her.  It was a good choice.

A Busy Day

It was quite a busy day and came in three parts.  The first part was we dropped Sal off to stay with my mom so we could head out to Kalamazoo to see Alexa in her play.  She played a grumpy old sheep in Charlotte's Web.  It was a cute little productions, and I really like the set they did for it.  It was a small cast but I'd say it was very well produced, and the actors did a great job.  Their Templeton was wonderful, but I also really thought he was fantastic in Cymbeline last year.  It was a very short play and we ended up in the car longer than we were in the theatre, haha!  But I'm glad we got to go out and see Alexa and support her.

The second part was as soon as we got home we hosted a family dinner for most of my family.  One of my cousins and my aunt is up from Virginia, so everyone decided to get together for dinner.  It was a nice dinner and everyone got a chance to hang out with the new babies.  Like my family they descended quickly, ate, and then left not too long later.  Everyone was gone by 8:45, so about a three hour event. 

Finally, I ended the day meeting with Jeff to talk about our video projects we've been working on and to come up with a game plan for what we're doing.  It was pretty good, though I think there are a few things I didn't think of that we should have gone over, but we'll just save it for another time.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Got to see Alexa, as I mentioned above, in her latest performance of Charlotte's Web.  It was a cute adaptation and the audience was filled with kids, and they all seemed to enjoy it.

Friday

The end of another week. Time passes, nothing changes.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Look at those cute little cheeks!  You just want to pinch them!

Well, Ya Got Trouble.

There's this coworker I have who really doesn't do anything.  In fact in the two years she's been here I'm not really sure of anything she's done.  She's basically useless, and always seems to have some sort of emergency on Fridays.  I really should log it because it is really absurd.  I've never cared for her much because she seems to have the opinion that I'm just "the help" and likes to treat me like a servant.  The guy before her was way better and realized I knew more than just how to make coffee so he'd have me help with posting and tech related things because I know how to do those things.  In reality, I would be a great help to her because I have a communications degree and know how to use tech so we could be doing way better than we are.

The problem is that she'd never have me help with anything because I would blow her cover.  You see, she does a lot to make it look like she's busy and look like she knows what she's doing, but in reality she's incompetent and sits around and does less than I do.  If I were to get involved with what she's doing then that wouldn't work because I'd know she's worthless.  Spoiler alert, I already know this. 

Well today we just had proof of my above theory.  You see, part of her cover is that she's so swamped and busy all the time. This is a nice plan because it means that she can say no to things and not have to do any work ever.  So, we have a new events coordinator who is trying to get some things done, and of course that would mean that the communications person would need to assist.  Well the events person was told that there just wasn't time for that and she'd have to do it herself and gave her some log in information to an old system we used before for newsletters and such.  The problem is that system has all our old information in it.  So once the events person got in there, and asked me questions and I explained about it she got really angry because she realized that slacker was slacking.  She accidentally blew her cover by pushing work off on the events person.

So I get a phone call asking more questions and a five minute rant about how angry the events person is because she's getting constant push back and being told no from the communications person.  It's pure gold!  I knew it would happen eventually, but the other people in the office are slackers, and the new person isn't so she's not part of the conspiracy to do as little as possible so this is not going to be good for team slacker.  I mean, BFS and I both know these things, but the main boss doesn't know or doesn't care.  However, if the new person starts complaining, that may change things. 

Anyhow, it was a hilarious development.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Seriously, I don't think these shoes are even a year old.  Why is it shoes can't last more than a year?  This is totally stupid, I just barely got them broken in.

Stop The Madness

Just when I think people at work can't get stupider, I'm shocked and amazed to find out how wrong I am.  Today I was processing an expense report from a student that went to Kazakhstan, which really should be quite straight forward.  I'll ignore for the moment that my co-worker, despite having been corrected through example many times that it's not pronounced Ka-Zach-uh-Stan, can't seem to say the name property.  Generally trips like this take a little extra work because the receipts that come through are in foreign currency so we have to do a little extra work to show what the American equivalent is.

I'm all for being sure we have a nice clean report, and to make sure all the documents are there to back up the reimbursement.  Today it just got really stupid.  The student was very proactive and knowing that the trip was in foreign currency she made copies of her online bank statement and sent those to me so there was documentation of the US amounts that she was charged.  This is perfect and exactly what we need to make sure the report is beyond question.  Basically, I just add those to the receipts already collected and everything is taken care of.  However, today that wasn't enough.  No, today there were questions because the bank statements didn't show that it was HER bank account, and that wasn't good enough.  But the bank statement's aren't for that.  The main receipt shows her debit card number, the statements were just to show the conversion rate used, it's merely a translation.  Additionally, everything necessary was included, there was no reason to get stupid about the fact that it didn't have her name or her account number listed anywhere on it, but that's not common on an online statement.

I'm all for making sure everything is provided, but why do we have to get so absurd over stupid things and make everyone's job harder?  There is no auditor in the world that would look at this report and have any questions.  The receipts are all there, the justifications are all there, the backup is all there, the translation is all there.  Additionally, you could take currency and go to an online currency converter and see that it was correct.  Yet another situation where someone wields what little power they have in order to feel special.  How about you don't.


Picture(s) of the Day:
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Gloomy and cloudy, but warmer and there's no snow on the ground.  I suppose that's something to be happy about.  I'm excited for it to get warmer and to be able to do more outdoor things this year.

Everything Happens For A Reason?

It's quite the over used phrase especially when something shitty is going on to try and get through it by saying that there is a reason it happened even if we don't know what it is. It's the idea that there is some force in the universe that apparently has enough time to plan every single incident in the history of the world for every single individual in a way that things work out in the long run.  I suppose it's either people looking on the bright side, or trying to put some meaning into events.  Though I suppose there are probably those that go with the idea of it being "god's plan", though that gets tricky when you bring up killing millions of people, genocide, etc. or then small things like some poor kid with cancer.

The point is that people like to say everything happens for a reason, but in reality they are simply finding reasons in retrospect for things to have turned out the way they did.  "Oh, everything happens for a reason, if X didn't happen then Y wouldn't and I wouldn't have Z."  Finding reason is great, but it's rather a reactive approach to situations.  I think it's far more beneficial to rather than say that something happened for a reason to say, "what can I learn from this situation and how can I move forward with this new knowledge?"

The first approach of finding reason leaves you as a powerless piece in the game of the universe.  The later makes you a proactive player that isn't just subject to the whims of some "universal plan" that in reality doesn't exist.  The mind has a great way of looking at things and finding a pattern.  It's great if you can look back at events and realize that your past influenced the person you became, but things don't "happen for a reason" because it would require the universe to give a shit about you, and it doesn't.  You are as insignificant as everything else in the universe, and things aren't destined to magically work out for you even if you don't understand why now.

So instead of saying "everything happens for a reason" be proactive and realize that shit sucks and there isn't reason for it other than the shitty actions of others or the failures of our own.  To learn and move forward as a better person and with a plan instead of letting "the universe" or whatever bob us along in the sea of life until we get to some better place.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 83
Bath night always produces the best photos.  After she was angry about being in the bath I almost got her to smile.  Once she's all wrapped up in the towel her mood improves a lot.  Though, looking at this picture she looks like her right hand is all HULK SMASH! It looks way bigger than her left hand. 

I've Lost The Ability To Even

In a stunning turn of events my group proved to be totally and completely incompetent.  I know, what a shock.  So, as I mentioned last week I passed off our group project to someone else in the group to do the final edits and sound for our little movie.  This was the final bit of the project and since I passed this off to her on Wednesday that gave her nearly five total days to complete this part.  That shouldn't be a problem.  Given she's the only other group member to do work I thought that it shouldn't be a problem to get it done.  I mean the one guy showed up the first day and voted on the project and said he would do one of the documents we needed for pre-production then didn't show up again for weeks and never did it.  The other lady did nothing but fight the entire time and be a total asshole.  Well, today I get a text from the person editing at around 1pm (this is exactly 4 hours and 30 minutes before the movie is due), saying that she can't open the file to edit it.  SHE HAD THIS FOR NEARLY A WEEK! 

Yes, for nearly a week she didn't do anything and then a couple hours before it's due decided to do her part of the work only to have trouble.  Well turns out if she had gone to the video editing room she wouldn't have received the error because it had the most up to date version of the software, which was the problem to begin with.  So, we didn't get to turn in our movie today because of her total her total failure to do her part of the project.  I'm so glad that the next project we get different people.  The other movies we watched today may have been mildly shitty, but they got them in on time.  Additionally one other group had the same problem, but they still got their stuff in because they didn't wait until the last minute so they had time to work around.  Had she checked earlier I could have finished it, or we could have figured out how to fix it.  But at 1pm the day it's due while I'm at work there's nothing I can do.

I'm very disappointed in the experience I have had with this class.  I was really looking forward to it, and while I may have learned some things it has been stressful and I really can't wait for it to be over.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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She is shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU!  She makes the best faces.  She's also getting crazy chubby cheeks that are perfect for pinching! 

Busy Sunday

I guess we just decided to cram everything we didn't do yesterday into today because we were super busy today.  Though, at the same time I really wasn't all that stressed about it, and it was probably the least stressful Sunday I've had in a while. I probably hate Sunday nearly as much as I hate Monday because there is so much to do and you have this looming work week coming that just kind of ruins everything, and that's no fun.

The day started off with sleeping in, which is always a wonderful thing.  Sal was kind enough not to be too disruptive, though I did have to wake up at 7am to feed her, but she went back to sleep which was very kind of her.  Then I got up in time for my run with Sara at 11.  It was a pretty good run and I felt better than my last two.  I think I'm getting back into this pretty well, which is good because I've been so inactive the past few months.  I really need better winter activities, but hopefully a working treadmill will help with that.  We did the usual three mile run, and made decent time.

After that I had to do a quick change so we could meet our friends up at Zola Bistro for some brunch.  I've never been to this or their other location downtown, but the menu seemed good.  The place as a bit hipster-ey and had that kind of pretentious feel to it, but the food was good and there were lots of items to choose from.  I'd totally go again because there are still a few things on the menu that I'd love to try.  Sal was really good too because our brunch seemed to perfectly coincide with her nap, so she slept through the whole thing, though I think that probably disappointed Mandi and Jamie who would have loved to hold her and entertain her.

After that we headed to Ann Arbor to see the Symphony's concert of Disney music.  However, we ended up with a terrible parking situation and by the time we made it to the venue they were totally sold out of tickets.  They didn't even have singles left, which I would have totally gone for.  I'm a bit disappointed that we didn't get to see the concert, but it's ok, I'm sure we can see something like it again in future.  I was also hoping for another new experience toward my goal for the year, guess we'll have to plan something else.

So, it was a pretty busy day, but it was really relaxing and fun.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 81
We were at the Zola Bistro for brunch.  It seemed a big "hipster" so I decided that when in Rome, and was sure to take a picture of my food.  Basically there was a breakfast with eggs, potatoes, and then your choice of breakfast meat, or there was this one where they took those things and just kind of mixed it together.  I picked it because it also included mushrooms, which the other place did not.  It was pretty good, though I was really hungry after because of my run and lack of food up until that point.  Also, I tried some of Becky's strawberry waffle, and Jasmine's chocolate waffle which were delicious!

Lazy Saturday

Today was one of those days were there wasn't really anything going on.  I had class and picked up some take out from Palm Palace on the way home.  We had to not plan anything because the repair guy was coming to fix the treadmill and we had one of those super convenient four hour windows.  Turns out that when he arrived they didn't order the most important part and so he couldn't repair the freaking thing.  That's fine, they aren't charging me more labor, but I would have liked to have it up and running so I could be up and running.

We ended up not having any plans for the rest of the day either, so it was spent mostly sitting around. I uploaded some more old movies, and we watched a little tv.  ABC Family was doing a marathon of old Disney movies so we saw some of Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, and Cinderella.  Sal seemed to like The Little Mermaid music, and the music from Sleeping Beauty.  The girl has great taste! 

Other things learned is that we really need to get some seating in my office because we were just sitting around watching TV, but I wanted to do some work on the computer which had me downstairs.  If we had some seating down there Becky and Sal could have joined me, and I could have sat on the couch with them as I monitored my uploads instead of having to either run back and forth downstairs, or be downstairs completely blocked off.  That's no good.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Becky decided that we needed to do a good old fashioned doughnut and Icee run.  It's been quite a while since we've done one of these, and it was perfect timing.  The doughnuts were still warm, and of course super fresh.  So delicious!  Doms is pretty much the best.

Old Video

I thought I had uploaded all my old videos, but apparently in the transfer from one program to the upgraded program I either lost parts, or never uploaded them fully.  I'm really disappointed at how my digital video has been so corrupted to the point that I have really lost some of it completely.  I think the problem is the tapes, and I wish things had progressed better to the memory cards that are being used now.  I've got a nice camera that does lovely video, it's just the tapes are mostly ruined for some of them.  I'm saving what I can, but it's in worse shape than the old tapes that weren't digital. 

It's also kind of weird to watch some of these old movies that I hadn't seen and had really no memory of.  Some of it was kind of boring, some of it was pretty funny.  There are some that are so long I haven't even really watched them at all.  One that I was uploading was back from 2003 when my sister and Virginia friends were up for Christmas.  There were some pretty funny clips, and it makes me miss that time, and wish that people could get along and we could see each other once in a while.  Oh well, time sucks sometimes.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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The moon and I believe a planet, probably Jupiter, or possibly Saturn.  I'm not sure of my star charts this time of year, but that's generally what it is.  I wish my phone could capture the look of the moon a bit better, but this was pretty.

Revenge Of The Run

Today I did another 3 mile run with Sara, and I'm happy to say that unlike my last run I didn't feel it in terms of feeling like my legs fell off and my body yelling "why have you betrayed me!?"  So that's a good sign.  It'll be a lot nicer when the weather is a little bit warmer because right now it's a bit of a pain, and I'm never good with running when it's cold out.  I'm also a bit surprise because this run we went with more structured intervals, and we were doing a 5 minutes on 5 minutes off type of run, and it worked out pretty well.  I kind of expected that 5 minutes on would be way too much since I haven't run since October, but it turned out fine.

So, that's helping with my activity goals, and helping with my daily step goals, so good times for all.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 78
My morning started with a bit of a disaster when my headphone cable got caught on the container and flipped over the entire thing spilling my cereal.  Luckily it didn't knock over my tea.  I considered staying in bed this morning because Sal was up at 4:30 and ready to party and so I fed her.  At the same time she was all talkative and smiley and so I wanted to just let her have a nice time.

You Incompetent Boob

Tonight I had to go to class and pretty much the only thing I had to do was hand off the first edit of our little movie to another person on my group so they can finish it.  This was all known, this was the plan for everyone.  So, the girl who was supposed to get it showed up and didn't bring her external hard drive so we spent two hours trying to upload the files to a cloud so she could get it and edit the project.  I literally could have left after around 30 minutes, but instead I was there for nearly three hours.

Seriously, you knew what was going on and had one job.  I have no faith in my group and I'm considering skipping class on Monday just so I don't' have to see the final project.  Though at the same time I also know that we are getting our midterm exam (which is a take home) that day, so I don't' know that I should skip because I need to get that.

I just hate people wasting my time.  I've got better things I could be doing, such as do my project due on Saturday and hang out with Sal.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 77
Seriously, I could be at home with these two, why would I want to be in class trying to figure out how to get you a stupid file.  Look how sad Sal looks.  It's clearly because I'm not home. BE RESPONSIBLE!

Group Work Concluded

Well, I finished my part of the group work tonight, and I wasn't too happy about what I had to do.  I've basically done the most for this project, and I would have rather done other things instead of working on it because everyone else is undependable.  I don't so much care for the grade, so that part doesn't bother me, but I do care that it's not as good as it could have been because the people in my group are incompetent.  If all of them had been complete morons I could have just taken it over, but we had the control freak with bad ideas that I had to accommodate.

Either way I hope that I'm done with this group and I don't have to work with them for project two.  I guess we'll find out.  But, since we're talking video editing I posted my second assignment video I had to do.  Basically he gave us video of a helicopter, a car, and some guys in monkey suits and we had to make them into something interesting.  It's difficult because my mind insists on a video that makes sense, and it's nearly impossible to make something like that make sense.  I decided to go with old TV shows being flipped through.  So, there you have it.

 Also, the downside today, since I was working so long at the video stuff, I didn't get to spend any time with Sal tonight.  That makes me sad.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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I missed cranky bath time, followed by cute baby towel time.  She is always the cutest after the shower when she's in her sheep towel.  Tonight was no exception.  At least Becky keeps me updated with pictures when I'm chained to my computer.

Run Down

Yesterday I went for my first run since October 8th, and I felt it.  It was perfectly clear that I hadn't run in a long time, and today that lesson has been reviewed because my legs are feeling very tired.  However, given that it was the first time I've run since October, I was able to keep my pace to what it was basically before I stopped running for the winter.  I did three miles in a little under 44 minutes, which is about where I was before.  I think my best time was around 40 minutes for three miles.  That's not too shabby. I wasn't using a interval app, so I think for the next run that will be good thing to have.

I think it was actually helpful because I went running with Sara, which meant there was someone else there.  That's helpful in running because you feel more pressure to keep up the run longer, or to keep the intervals shorter.  I will say the first run interval was quite long and the second one was hard because the first one was so long.  My legs weren't feeling too bad, but my lungs were yelling at me and asking why I did this to them haha!

Once the treadmill is fixed this weekend I'll start using that to help work on my lung capacity.  I'd like to run a 5K at some point this year because it would be a new experience and it's also one of my mini goals.

Anyhow, there you have it, the latest in the world of fitness. Me feeling pooped and having really sore legs.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 75
While it was cloudy, it was also in the 60s today.  As you can see all but a little patch of brown dirty snow has melted away.  Spring is arriving, and that's very exciting.  It wasn't the coldest or the snowiest winter, but it was enough that I'm ready for it to be over.  I got to go on a walk during lunch, so that's always a good day.

Better Babies

This week was kind of hard because Becky went back to work, we had a time change, and Sal was just having none of it.  Pretty much every night when we got home we had a screaming baby who was not happy for anything.  She was just cranky the entire time we had her.  I think mostly it was because her schedule was off and she just wasn't happy with that.

Well, the weekend seemed to bring her back to normal because she was back on our schedule and was pretty much a happy baby again, which was really nice after a week of being cranky.  It's also really nice because that meant we actually got to spend time with her as a happy baby instead of only seeing her when she was unhappy.  That's a hard part about it, because with work and class there is very little time during the week that I actually get to see her, and having her screaming the whole time is very sad.

So, this weekend has now made my weekends 100% more important. Thought I hope next week will be better for Sal.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 74
Seconds before this she was screaming like there was no tomorrow, but then she was wrapped up in the towel and instantly turned to this adorable little bundle of sleepy cuteness. I may be biased, but I think I may have the cutest baby.

Breaking Done

Last night we finally got around to watching the final season of Breaking Bad.  It had been sitting out there for a long time now, and I just hadn't been able to get around to feeling like I wanted to watch the show. Season four definitely left me feeling no love for the show.  The first eight episodes or so were pure drudgery and while the end of the season was much better, it didn't redeem it for me.  In fact generally speaking my biggest motivation for watching the final season was so that I would never have to watch it again.


I'm not going to spoil anything about the final season or how things turn out for anyone, so no fear for anyone who hasn't seen it.  The problem I have is that I've never liked Walt.  I also feel like the progression from science teacher to drug maker/dealer whatever you'd like to call him, seemed very unnatural and way too fast.  The terrible things he does seem like he was too ready to do and had little remorse for it.  That doesn't seem like a natural character progression.  The entire thing takes place in the course of two years, there about, and it seems like a person would have a harder time going down that road than Walt seemed to.  Jessie seemed far more natural in his reaction to the situations he was in, and really it just was distracting.

People say it ended perfectly.  I suppose.  I think in the end most people ended up where it makes sense for them to end up.  I didn't feel like it was anything spectacular, and actually feel that the ending and story from Season 4 was far more satisfying and should have just ended there.  Throughout the show Jessie was my favorite character and I felt badly for him and hopeful that he would be able to get to a good place in the end.  (Again, no spoilers for where anyone ended up).

But generally speaking, I didn't really like any of the characters.  Jessie was good, Hank was good. Gus was good.  (as characters, not necessarily people).  I hated just about everyone else.  I really didn't like Walt or his wife.  I saw an interview with the actress who played his wife, and she talked about how people didn't like her character and she thought it was because people don't like strong women.  I don't think I saw her as a strong woman.  She was mostly just annoying and indecisive.  There were moments of strength, but mostly she was just kind of mean, stupid, or annoying.  I would have preferred her be strong, either as an ally for Walt or a foil for him.  If she had taken a strong stand and was consistent then that would have been far more interesting, but her "woe is me" period and her other activities were just kind of annoying.

So, overall, the show is good.  It's a good concept, and I can see that had we watched it live there were some great cliffhangers that would have been fun.  At the same time, it wasn't brilliant or groundbreaking really.  Sure, they did somethings I think a lot of shows don't.  They took it to places that made sense, but that shows may be scared to go or unwilling to go, which to their credit was good.  At the same time I feel that people over hyped it.  So, if you haven't seen it, I do recommend it, but I won't say it was god's gift to television. 

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Today was Pi Day, and there was hardly any pie at the pie shop.  In fact moments later I took 25% of the pie from this case and they had almost no pie left.  It wasn't even late in the afternoon or anything.  Guess you have to shop early to avoid the rush!

Projects

I'm not entirely sure what I want the focus of this blog to be about.  I know generally that I'm kind of frustrated with the projects I'm trying to get going.  I'm annoyed because I feel they're stuck.  I'm annoyed because some of the stuff are the ideas of other people that I'm working on, but those other people just aren't getting involved or aren't doing their part on things.  That is really demoralizing to me because I get this steam and then it gets totally released and then I feel ready to just not do anything with it at all and want to give up.

At the same time then I get this drive to go more, but then it goes into that cycle where others aren't helping and then I'm feeling annoyed and it all just starts over again.  I guess a lot of it is that I've got partners and I need to rely on them, but they aren't reliable.  I don't like relying on other people to begin with because as far as I can tell people are just unreliable and not to be trusted so I should just do everything myself becuase that's the only way I can guarantee that it A) gets done and/or B)Isn't halfassed because they forgot until the deadline and did it the night before.

Seriously, why is it so hard to find people who I can partner with.  I'm not asking people to live for only these projects, but you see these people who form their own companies and they work to be successful and then I can't even get people to show up for a meeting. It just annoys me.  Perhaps I'm being too accommodating and nice and I need to be more of a hard-ass?  At the same time I don't want to be too annoying that people won't want to work with me.  At the same time they aren't working with me now, so what's the difference?

Rabble.  Rabble-Rabble.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 72
Ronan is such a goon.  He decided he wanted to snuggle with me in bed.  That was ok except he gets all flail-ey and then hits me or other people with his flying legs.  He's lucky he's cute.

Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil

Yesterday I finished another book, this time I read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt, which was interesting because it's considered to be non-fiction, though I'm sure that there was some artistic license taken with some things to make a better narrative.  Basically the story is about this guy who moves from New York City to Savannah because he likes it there.  Over the course of his time living there he gets to meet some intersting local characters and rubs elbows with some pretty well-to-do people, including one may who is tried for murder.  This is the central character that the book follows as it goes.

Overall I really enjoyed the book.  I like the characters and the plot of it was quite entertaining. I wanted to see what happened to the characters and how it all ended up for them, and they were written in a way that made them interesting and fun to follow.  I was most interested to see if the main focus would get end up going to jail or if he'd beat the murder conviction.  I also enjoyed the crazy voodoo side of things that was presented as being very helpful to this guy in his efforts to defend himself in court.  Also, given that it took place in actual locations I was able to look up the spots on Google which was kind of neat to see what it looked like in addition to what I was picturing in my head from images I'd seen previously of the city.

There were a few things I didn't care for, and mostly it was just some kind of irrelevant information that didn't really stick to the main narrative of the story.  One area was the drag queen, who was interesting, but it really didn't add to the main story from my perspective.  She was a great character, but there were times it got a little boring because it was more of a distraction and stalled out the story.  I guess from the writer's perspective he was more trying to describe his time and the things he did and saw, but from a reader's perspective it wasn't always great.  However, that's about all the complaints I could come up with for the book.  It was enjoyable and a pretty quick read.  

I'm not sure what I'll read next.  I was thinking about reading Harry Potter again since it's been years since I've read them.  However, at the same time I'm not sure and maybe I'll read something I haven't read before.  Guess I'll need to go take a look at the bookcase to see what we've got.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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Throw Back Thursday to that time we all went to Florida but didn't like our hotel and instead stayed at the Disney Vero Beach Resort which was about 1000% better.  It was a great trip, we got to see turtles, visit Disney world, Universal Studios, and had some nice beach time.

Thoughts on Parenthood

So, I was going over the posts of the last nine weeks and I have posted a ton of pictures of the Salamander, and talked a bit about things she has been doing and things that are going on, but I haven't really talked much about being a parent. I guess now that I've have over two months to adjust it might be a good time to talk about the past 67 days.  First it's kind of amazing at how fast time goes, because it seems like 67 days is really a long time.  I mean, 67 days from now is going to be around Becky's birthday!  Time just floats right along and you don't really notice it.  Things change slowly so it doesn't feel like it's been as long as it has, but sure enough you wake up and realize that it's been over two months!

I feel like things have fallen into a nice rhythm and we have a schedule going that works. This week will be readjustment to that since Becky is back at work, but overall things have become routine now, and the adjustments have been made to how things work.  However, that being said there really hasn't been all that much of an adjustment. By that I mean that things haven't really change enough that it required much change in us.  Yes, we have to look after her, which means that there are diapers, and bottles, and cleaning said diapers and bottles.  There is time trying to get her to sleep, and time spent bathing her and washing her clothes.  For the most part things have remained how they were, we just have one extra person that we have along for the ride.  We still go grocery shopping as we always have, we still go to the store as we always have.  We've probably gone to movies less than we normally would, because I'm sure we would have seen at least one movie, but that's not because we can't, it's just that we haven't.

I get really annoyed when I read all these articles about how "well you're a parent so expect your house to look like shit, to be tired, to be unable to function as an adult, because kids are going to take over your life and you'll be unable to do anything else.  I just haven't found that to be in the least bit true.  We've held an Oscar party and I hosted a 14 person dinner party with an infant.  I've been taking classes, and still we haven't been deterred in the least from living life as we always have, we just now pack up the Salamander and take her with us.  We've been out to eat, we've been out to the store, we've visited friends.  As far as I can tell life is as you want it to be, and it relates back to that article I posted a rant about last week about how the truth isn't that you don't have time, it's just that it isn't a priority. 

I think from all the pictures it's clear that I'm obviously enjoying my time as a dad, though I don't feel like the label dad really fits yet.  Perhaps it's just because we waited so long to have kids, but I don't feel like a dad.  I feel like I have a daughter, but the dad identity hasn't really sunk in yet.  Perhaps that's something that evolves once she's talking, because right now people don't refer to me as dad other than Jasmine (occasionally), so it's just not something that really fits yet.  I'm not opposed or anything, I just don't feel like it's me yet.  At the same time the happiness and caring I have reminds me of when Jasmine first came to live with us.  I enjoyed having her around and hearing about her day, and it's something that I've enjoyed having as part of my life.  Now it's like I have two, and while Sal can't tell me about her day she will smile at me and sleep on me, and it's just as good.  So, perhaps I don't feel dad like because I've already been dad like for some time now.  I don't know, we'll see how things go.

Regardless I'm loving my time with a little baby Sal.  I'm enjoying how she's starting to make noises and "goo" at me.  I could have sworn that last night she laughed, but she's still a few weeks too early for that.  But I was kind of tickling her neck and she was squirming and smiling all big and it sounded a lot like she laughed!  It was rather exciting.  I also sometimes worry about her and worry that something bad will happen to her and how I don't know if I could deal with that because I love her so much.  So then I check her to make sure the blanket isn't too close to her face, or make sure I'm holding her securely, or that her car seat is clicked in properly.

Anyhow, I love the Salamander, and I can't wait for all the things we'll get to do like the holidays, going to parks, zoos, museums.  Taking her on vacations to places she's excited about, or places that I'm excited about and want to share with her.  I wonder what her voice will sound like, and what her favorite subjects in school will be.  I think about how she'll someday soon start having thoughts and opinions, and will be walking and doing things.  I may possibly explode once she's old enough to want to hug me and call me dad.

So, I think I'm settling quite well into this role.  It's been a great two months and I look forward to all the time ahead.

Picture(s) of the Day:
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One of the few seconds she wasn't screaming during her bath time tonight.  She was such a cranky baby, though she was smiley for a little while, about 15 minutes.  Perhaps the time change has thrown her all off, but she's been in a terrible mood the past few days.  It also could be that her schedule has changed since Becky went to work.  Either way she's been more cranky than not cranky.  That's not easy when you only get a few hours a night, and less on Mondays and Wednesdays because I have class till 9pm.  But, side not.  ADORABLE!

Worst. Group. Ever.

Last night was probably the worst college class experience I have ever had that I can recall.  I have complained about my group on the blog a few weeks ago because they do drive me insane, but last night really takes the cake.  You really do get a different caliber of person in a community college, and for many things that's totally cool, however for the experience I'm having now, it's not great.  This is a class that I've wanted to take for quite some time, and right now the only reason I'm not dropping the class is because I would lose the money I've paid.  I'm too far in now to get a refund, but I see no benefit to this class if I have to continue working with this group.  I don't care about assignments, I don't care about grades.  I'm there to learn something, and this group is inhibiting that.

Last night we had a lighting workshop, basically we were learning to use lights, but the old woman of the group who is pissed that her ideas are being shot down decided that she was in charge of this assignment.  Basically it turned into that scene from Captain Phillips where the pirate says "I'm the captain now." That's all fine, you want to be in charge, but you don't have to be a blazing-too-much-spicy-chipotle-salsa-fire-ass-flaming-shit-squirts of a person about it.  I present to you a scene from the class:

Old lady: "How do you turn this camera off?"

Know-it-all girl: Reaches to turn off camera.

Old lady: "NO! I WILL TURN IT OFF, YOU WILL SHOW ME HOW."

What?!  Are we toddlers who insist that they are going to push the button in the elevator?  Seriously?  The entire night was riddled with this woman not knowing how to do a thing but insisting on doing everything.  This is exactly why her ideas are shot down, because she doesn't know how to do any of it.  She wanted to do very advanced effect, and the group said that we really shouldn't do that, but she insisted, but she was told no.  So she calls over the guy that worked on Sherlock and tell him what she thinks and he says it's possible but so far beyond our ability that it's not realistic, which is exactly what we told her.

I really can't deal with this nonsense anymore.  If this is going to be the next seven weeks I will just not go.  I'm all for learning, but there's no point in this situation to waste 4 hours twice a week sitting around with people that can't do a simple shoot.  It's really frustrating and it's not worth my time.  I've got many other things I'd rather be doing.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 69
Apparently Sal has her own command chair when she's at her Gran's during the day.  She also likes to jump, but this I already knew.  So far this week the down side has been that by the time I get home she's in a terrible mood so I get maybe 10 minutes of happy time and the rest is spent trying to calm her.  Sad.

The Compassion Conundrum

I have a hard time when it comes to compassion for those who have hurt me.  I try to be as compassionate as possible and consider how they feel and how I should react, but at the same time they don't seem to care that their actions have been hurtful toward me.  A lot of times I feel like it's so one sided where I'm putting in all the effort, where I'm trying to be caring and compassionate but that it isn't at all returned.  I feel like everyone needs to take a class on interpersonal communication because there are so many people who just dont' seem to understand that in any relationship there has to be balance and when one person is doing more then that disturbs the balance and damages the relationship.

However, maybe I'm just being too kind in assuming they don't know what they're doing, and in fact they are well aware and the just don't give a shit.  Perhaps I'm just barking up the wrong tree and I'm putting in too much effort for people who don't care for me, but who apparently used to.  I guess that's the problem. The problem is that there was a time when it was very obvious that people cared.  They did things that showed it, and then it changed and now they don't.  I can either assume that they are taking the relationship for granted and that I am just going to accept and forgive them since that's what I do, or they really just don't care but they're too chickenshit to actually say that and so I'm left hanging.

So, the question become should I be angry or should I be understanding?  My gut and emotional reaction is to be hurt and then my brain tells me that I should be patient and compassionate.  However as time goes by my brain starts to agree with my gut and say that my anger is justified.  But none of that solves the loss and sadness at having things be missing from what they once were.

Basically I'm in a "I hate people" mood because I spend all this time floating around alone and the only time I ever hear boo from anyone is if I reach out first.  It's rather lonely.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 68
The skunks are clearly coming out of hibernation, because they are all over the place.  Mostly just roadkill, and the other day I was thinking about how I've never seen a live skunk just out doing it's thing.  Well can't say that now, this little guy was burrowing around in the leaves outside of my building.  I don't think he could see through the glass window he was right in front of because he didn't seem to move at all when I got up close for this picture.  He was pretty cute, though seemed to have a hurt foot because he hopped a bit on one leg.  Poor fella, hope he's ok.

Sunny Sunday

What a bright and glorious Sunday!  The weather was so wonderful today, it was sunny, it was warm.  What more can you ask for!  What isn't fun was the time change for daylight saving time last night which took an hour of sleep from me that I won't get back until November when we reset the clocks.  Which is such a stupid thing if you ask me.  I mean I like the long evenings in summer, but maybe we could just keep this time and not switch it around.  Just saying.

We started the day with a visit up to St. Joe to see my new Nephew Wyatt.  Having been there I'm really glad we went through UM for Sal.  St. Joe just never seems to have their shit together, the rooms are much smaller, and I felt less at peace visiting there, so I can't imagine being there for three days.  Wyatt was doing fine, he's almost as big as Sal is now!  He's got a ton of hair too which is crazy!  It's also a bit funny because when Sal was born she would cry and sound like a little dinosaur, and when Wyatt was crying he sounded like a little Zebra. 

After visiting a bit we had to go to the grocery store so we could get back in time for me to meet with my video class group so we could shoot our short film.  It lasted about six hours which felt way longer.  I'm a bit annoyed because only one person showed up, the other two didn't show up at all.  At the same time I'm a big glad because that meant there was only one other person to deal with, which made things a lot easier. So, my Partner that showed up was supposed to bring a shot list, but she really didn't do it properly, so I'm not sure we got enough shots, or that we are doing a very good job telling the story.  I'm not happy with this work, but whatever, I care all that much.  I'm 100% done with this semester.  I've got seven more weeks, and I'm here to learn a skill and I'm not concerned with grades.  If this was just my work then I'd care, but it's a group of four, and our combined work, so I'm not going to do too much. I'll do the edits, and then pass it off and be done with it.  Part of me wants a new group for the second project, but then looking at the other people in the class I'm not so sure I care since I don't think it would matter.  Absenteeism is terrible, and the products come out isn't all that great either.  So, I guess we just need to get through the next seven weeks.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 67
OMG.  LOOK AT THI!  Look at all the 50s.  Look at how next Monday is close to 60.  This is fantastic news!  I can't wait for the warm weather.  Today was pretty nice, especially with the sun, and I want to see the weather continue on this trend of being in the upper 40 and 50s.  I can't wait till it's warm enough that I can open the windows, though I don't want it to warm up too fast so we get a nice spring.

Feastapalooza 2: Revenge Of The Feast

A few years ago in March we decided that there was nothing going on and no good reason to have lots of people over, so we held a little turkey dinner with all the sides you could think of.  Well we decided we'd do that again this year.  Michele had a turkey she wasn't going to cook, and said I could have it or she could donate it, so naturally the best option would be to cook the turkey and then invite everyone over for dinner!

It was quite a full house, we had a total of 14 people for dinner, which was tricky since our table only holds six.  We borrowed a table from my gran and set it up at the end of the main table, then we got all the chairs from the theatre company to use around the table.  We had to move the loveseat and extend it into the living room.  Logistically it was a bit rough and I would have liked a bit longer table so it wasn't so crammed, but everyone seemed to have a nice time.

We started the event early with appetizers.  Michele brought her delicious spinach and artichoke dip (which I have been craving for weeks). Then Becky made some sauteed spicy lime shrimp.  We also had the obligatory cheese plate with smoked Gouda, a truffle cheese, a rumrunner cheese, and a merlot cheese. I also made tomato and goat cheese puff pastry tarts, though these didn't turn out all that great, I need to work on my technique.  I also decided to make Caprese Skewers, which were totally easy, it was just a toothpick with a grape tomato, a leaf of basil, a ball of buffalo mozzarella, and then drizzled with olive oil and balsamic and then a little bit of salt and pepper.  They were totally tasty!  I had also planned making spinach puffs, but I just ran out of time.

It would have been better if I didn't have a Saturday class, because it took me a while to get the turkey in the oven, and it delayed a lot of my work.  The turkey ended up coming out a little late, though it also was too early for the sides so the turkey was a bit dry, which wasn't the best.  I've done way better turkey's, I'm actually quite disappointed with how it turned out.  However, everyone seemed to enjoy it.  We had turkey, mashed potatoes (which I also screwed up because I didn't add enough butter and liquid so they were a bit dry), a new scalloped au gradin potatoes which were really good, macaroni and cheese, roasted asparagus, and garlic green beans.  We also had delicious dinner rolls, though they ended up a little under cooked.  Dessert was delicious too because Eric brought an apple pie, Mandi brought a wonderful lemon pie, the Wachtmann's brought a coconut cake, and then Becky made a chocolate cake that looked terrible because it was too hot and the icing was just a mess (doesn't matter it was still delicious).

It was a very busy day, but it was quite delicious.  I think everyone had a wonderful time, and it was nice to have time to chat and have a house full of food and conversation.  What I have learned is that I need a second oven and  double the burners I have.  I also need a larger dining room and a larger table. I'd also like some better dishes for large events like this.  We didn't have enough plates or flatware that matched, so it was a bit hobo.  Perhaps by next March we'll do another Feastapalooza and have a new set of stuff and a better table.  Maybe one with a few leafs so we don't need to borrow a fold up table.  I also meant to take pictures but just ended up so busy that I didn't have time to take any, sad.  Anyhow, it was a great time and I'm glad we did it.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 66
I guess we'll have to cook a turkey instead of Sal since she's a bit too big for the pan.  I mean we'd have to tuck her feet up and she'd probably just kick them out.  Plus, I don't think she could feed 14 people since she's not even 10 pounds, and the turkey is 20 pounds.  You win this time, baby.

Discourged

I'm starting to feel very discouraged, which is something that can happen when you go extended periods of time where things never go right.  For a while I felt like things were starting to turn around, but now it doesn't seem like that again.  I'm feeling like no matter what I do I won't be able to reach any of my goals because no matter how hard I work at them I'm still no closer and I make no progress toward them.  Every day I come in and sit i this same stupid chair unable to go anywhere or get on a path that is worth anything.  It doesn't matter that I'm taking classes I'm not going to be able to take enough to get anything worthwhile to help me and even if classes opened up it would be years before I could take them all.  What's the fucking point.

I try to focus on small steps but I'm out of space to walk so I'm going nowhere.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 65
My hope is that this is the last time I will see these terrible death icicles that look like the things that fall down in video games an kill you.  The weather is supposed to warm up, so hopefully these will melt and then they won't come back since it's coming up on mid march and time for all this snow and ice to GTFO.

Revived

Monday's and Wednesdays are the worst for me.  I get in the worst moods about having to go to class.  A lot of it has to do with the stress that it's a somewhat performance class.  Everything I do is seen by the entire class so I feel a lot of pressure to produce work that is good and feel nervous and stressed every time I have to do something because of that.  Perhaps I shouldn't feel that way because it's just a class and nothing we are making is all that ground breaking.  However at the same time I feel like if I'm producing something then it better be good.  It's somewhat embarrassing to turn something in that we all watch that is totally shitty.  I've seen a few like that.  Many are just people throwing things together and trying out the features and functions.  Nothing is groundbreaking because the material and skill we have isn't great so naturally what we do isn't great. 

I think I'm also tired and don't enjoy 14 hour days.  Leaving the house at 7:20 in the morning and not getting home until 9:30 at night is a super long day.  I am glad that I'm learning the things that I'm learning, but I'm also tired and it makes for a long tiring day.  When I'm tired I get cranky.  However this makes me totally glad that I dropped the other class I had planned to take because I think three would have killed me.  Either way now that class is over for the week I'm feeling much better.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 64
Becky's mom made this adorable sign for Sal.  I believe it's sitting in Sal's room on the ledge until we decide where or how to hang it.  Or perhaps that's just where it will live.  Either way it's totally cute.

Grumpy

My ambition level is nearing zero. I really don't care.  I really don't want to do anything.  I don't want to be in class.  I don't care about assignments, or doing any of them.  I don't care about grades.  I don't care about work.  I don't care about doing anything.  Everything is always uphill, nothing works out, and I don't really see the point in bothering anymore.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 63
Had to go in for Sal's two month well baby visit.  The decals on the wall of this room was dogs, and totally cute.  Everyone was also highly amused by her mustache pacifier.  She got her first round of vaccinations, and cried for a minute but was ok shortly after.

It's Not A Priority

I was scrolling through Tumblr today and I came across a quote from an article called "Are You As Busy As You Think?" in the Wall Street Journal.  It was a rather interesting article talking about how people who constantly complain about how they don't have time for things are actually less busy than they think, but rather by being busy they can avoid making choices.  Perhaps this is also an excellent defense for not doing things that they others give to them, or that they should be doing.  By saying that they are so busy all the time and couldn't get to something that protects them by proclaiming it wasn't their fault. The logic here would be "you can't be mad at me for not doing x, y, z, because I've been too busy." It's a handy excuse or crutch.


Well, turns out people aren't as busy as they think they are, something that I suspected anyway.  The article suggest taking a week to track your actions to see what you really do, all the way down to checking your Facebook a half dozen times a day (which adds up to a couple hours a week).  Basically, it pointed out that with every choice you make with your time you are unable to do other things with it, and that we spend a lot more time pissing away our time that we could be doing other things with.  Bumming around the internet eats up time that you could be spending on something else.  Sitting and watching tv eats up time you could be reading, volunteering, or learning something.  Everything has an opportunity cost and realizing how much time you waste when you want to be doing other things with your time is important.  Realizing "yeah, I spend probably 14 of my 168 hours looking at pictures on the internet" makes you see that if you adjust your time management and activities you would have more time for other things.

I think this really hits when I always hear young people talking about how they don't have time.  How they lament that you can't balance work, school, and social life and have to pick two out of three.  I've always said that isn't the case it's just down to managing your time and prioritizing what you choose to devote that time too.  Time for the most part is a choice.  I could choose not to work, but the result would be my family wouldn't be able to live the life that they are.  I could choose not to go to class, but then I wouldn't learn the things I'd like to learn which may help me in other ways.  There are lots of things we choose to spend our time doing, but when we start to complain about how busy it just always rings hollow when I know how much people spend bingewatching shows on Netflix, how they spend so much time on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Pinterest, or playing stupid games like Angry Birds or Candy Crush or whatever other mindless game of your choice.  How much time is spent partying or smoking pot.  So, when people are doing all those things and say they don't have time to study, don't have time for friends, don't have time for work, it just doesn't fly.

I've never been one to accept the excuse "I'm busy" because, just as this article pointed out, there's a lot more time in a week than people seem to realize.  The way we spend our time is always a choice and rather than saying, "I'm too busy" I do like the phrase "It's just not a priority for me" because in the end that's the truth of it. So start looking at the things you're doing and change how you talk about it.  Say it's not a priority for you and if that doesn't sit well with you or you're embarrassed by that then perhaps that means you should adjust how you spend your time.  There are very VERY few people in the world who are truly busy. We aren't special, we're average and we spend our time doing things like average people.  If we wish to do things then we need to make the choice to do it.  It's all in our control, and when we finally realize that we can start to make choices for the life we wish to have.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 62
Another cute baby picture.  I can't help it, she's just too cute.

Please Go Away

I hate group work.  I hate it more than I hate almost anything.  I will deal with partner work if I have to, but group work I have no desire to take part in.  It's fine if I'm working with competent people but lets be honest when do you ever have a group with competent people?  Last class no one from the group was there.  This class one was there, one was very late, and one didn't show up again.  Then we have one girl trying to control everything but isn't very good with creating a story so really she needs to be taking advice from others.  Another woman has no clue what-so-ever and wants to add children and dogs.

I basically would like some old person to put them in a box and drown them in the river.

Basically we still don't have a solid script, which means we can't do a shot list, which means we can't film, which means we're still exactly where we started.  I tried to provide some guidance and break the stalemate of people arguing over the plot, but it did nothing.  Basically I'm just going to do the part I said I would and not worry about anything else.  If I want I could reedit the footage for my own film and use that as a counterweight if I don't like how it turns out.

Basically, I could do this better alone and I hate that my grade is dependent on other less talented people.  I was sitting in class thinking to myself that I hope the next project we have different groups, but then looking around and watching the other classes present I realized it wouldn't be any better.  I'm tempted to just opt out and get nothing for those projects and just get a B or a C in the class because I really don't care.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 61
On the up/down side I get pictures of this while I'm at work or in class.  The upside is how can you be mad with a face like that!  It helps get you through the day because AWW SO CUTE! On the downside, it makes me annoyed that I have to be at work or class because I can't be at home spending time with her since she's growing so fast and I will miss it.

Goals Update

Well, it's March! I always feel like winter is over starting in March because living in Virginia March was when the temperatures got to almost the point of being able to open your windows for a bit to get some fresh air.  I mean, often you get the cherry blossoms blooming by the end of March in D.C. So in my mind, despite having been in Michigan for the past 18 years, it still feels like Spring is March.  Talking about that also makes me miss Virginia.  But, on to the goals.

Goal Number One - Get A New Job: I've still been looking, but I haven't applied for anything this month.  I really need something else, because I can't take this anymore.  I've been micromanaged down to how I contact people when a box comes in.  I really hate it here and everyone here and I'd almost rather ruin my credit and quit with no job or money than to continue this nonsense. 

Goal Number Two - Read At Least 18 Books:  I finished two texts for the month of February.  For the year that gives me Children of God, A Farewell to Arms, and A Midsummer Night's Dream.  I'm into my third novel for the year and I have a few plays I also plan to read this month, so I would expect some great progress for this goal in March.  Well on track to reach the goal with 3 of 18 already complete.

Goal Number Three - Go Out West: I haven't made any travel plans yet for this year, so nothing to report for this goal.  I'd like to go out west somewhere.  That may take the form of going all the way out to California, or it may take the form of going to Yellowstone.  Who knows, there are lots of possibilities.

Goal Number Four - Be Consistently Active: So, I feel like I've failed because my active time so far this year is a total miss, but my steps improved significantly.  I don't feel I'm being active enough, but it was also a very cold month so it's hard to really get out and do stuff when there's a foot of snow on the ground and the high is 6.

• Subgoal 1: I missed my step goal for the month, but I improved over January.  January I missed it by 121,735 steps, but February I only missed by 17,188 steps.  I also doubled my number of days that I made my goal, and my daily average went from 6,000 steps a day to 9,300 steps a day. So, that's not too bad, and I hope to continue the trend here, which should get easier as it gets warmer.
• Subgoal 2: I missed my 30 minutes of activity per day by 473 minutes, which is almost 8 hours. Pretty much February was terrible and I need to chance something to fix this. 
• Subgoal 3: It's been too cold to run, but it is my priority to finish this and to see about running a 5K this year.

Goal Number Five - Digitize My Photos: I haven't directly started to digitize, but I can say that I've taken steps to help the process.  I had a very messy set of drives and so I spent time this month cleaning and consolidating information so that I can start loading in photos.  I hope to be able to get to doing this soon.

Goal Number Six -  Have Seven New Experiences:  So far we're just at the two experiences for the year of becoming a dad and being in an operating room.  Five more to go, which should be possible given that it's only March.

Goal Number Seven - Projects: I've done more work at getting my projects going, but I'm having doubts about actually doing them.  I'm not getting the support I need to complete them as they aren't something I can really do on my own.  This adds to the general negative feelings I have about all the things I'm doing and makes me want to quit everything.  Hopefully that passes.

Secret Horcrux Goal 8 - Mood: For the most part I'm feeling good, however job hunting puts me in an impossibly negative mood, and the fact that I can't find anything just compounds it.  It's making me want to withdraw from my classes, quite the theatre company and just sit around all night watching television.

So, that's the goals roundup.  Good luck in March.

Picture(s) of the Day:
Picture 60
Went to see Keely in her final production at UT.  It doesn't seem like it's been that long since her first production, but she made it through!  Congrats to her!