A Whole Ass Baby

So, one of the developments that came about during the period I wasn't blogging last year was that we had a baby thrust into our lives.  A whole ass baby.  Freshly baked, straight from the oven.  A few weeks before I had said that I missed Sal being a baby and thought maybe it would have been nice to have had a second kids.  But Sal is old, and that wasn't really on the agenda at this point.  I mean, I'm almost as old at George is supposed to be in Father of the Bride 2, and while my oldest daughter is looking at getting married, and I regularly meet with a wedding planner (though her name is not Franck and it's because we're friend), that isn't the movie that I expected my life to take after.

However, the baby is a lovely, sweet little thing.  She's pretty well behaved, and she's starting to hit all her important milestones, which can be cute.  Earlier this week I got her to laugh for the first time, and the last two days she's started to do it a little more.  Today it seemed like she was testing it out and was just lifelessly laughing.  She smiles a lot, and loves to eat, poop, and sleep, which is typical of a baby.  For the most part she's been a pretty low demand baby who's just happy to eat.

The situation, however, has not been ideal.  When I said, "thrust" what I mean was that she is a foster placement that we were not expecting to do.  She had some worrying health concerns at birth and we didn't really even know much about the situation until she made her way to us.  We also don't know what the long term effects are going to be, and we also don't know how long term this situation is going to be.  The uncertainty is really one of the worst parts of the situation because we don't know if this will be three months, six months, a year, or even longer. We also don't really get to know what's going on unless it's said in open court during the different hearings, trials, etc.  It's just tedious being in the dark.

But, for now, we have a whole ass baby to take care of.  

Time is a Theif

Today was determined that is should be a Dad and Sal day, so we went around and did all the things that Sal wanted to do, which today simply involved going to a bunch of her favorite stores.  First, she wanted to go look for some earrings at Claire's, which I think is probably one of the worst places in existence. I'm pretty sure that if you were to go through the door at the back it wouldn't take you to their storage room but rather to one of the other break rooms in hell where the demons take a break from their taunting.  However, she wanted to look around and see if there was anything fun, and she had a great time.  After that, we walked around the mall so she could see if there were any other good stores, and to see if there was a calendar kiosk where she could find a cat calendar.

After our time at the mall she decided we needed lunch, and of course, did what every elementary school-age kid loved, we went to McDonald's.  As a child, I loved McDonald's, as an adult, I'm not as fond of it as it just makes me feel like ick the rest of the day.  However, she was thrilled. When I was her age I was also thrilled, and there was never a bad experience.  Adults are so picky.  Eww, the fries are overcooked or undercooked.  The nugs aren't cooked to my preference, they're too cold or perhaps were left in the fryer too long.  Kids will just scarf it down and be thrilled.  Though, I sense we're getting to the age where Sal is starting to have opinions and may soon be critiquing the quality of McDonald's.

Finally, we rounded out our day with a trip to Michael's and Barnes and Noble.  Turns out our last stop, Barnes and Noble, was the first place she actually decided to buy anything, and ended up spending two gift cards on books and things from Barnes and Noble.  After that, we headed home with her loot and enjoyed some dinner at the local Mexican place.  Overall, she had a great time.

The problem is, she's getting too big too fast.  She's quickly approaching double digits.  Teenager is now firmly visible on the horizon and far closer than I'm comfortable with.  There's a lot less of that little kid in her, and much more of that independent personality starting to pop out of her. That part isn't so bad, I want her to be fun, and independent, and fearless.  However, at the same time every day on my time hop I see photos of my little potato and I miss a lot of that.  Sure, it was no fun to have to drag her out of Disney shrieking that I wasn't her family and that she wanted her real family.  But also, soon she'll be too big to sit with me in her rocking chair every night and read or watch some short videos.  

It seems like time is moving faster and faster, and soon it will have taken all these things from me.  I mean, at this point we are now almost halfway through the time we'll have with her living in the house with us.  She is halfway to 18, so in another nine years, she'll be preparing for college, preparing to go somewhere amazing and do exciting things.  At the same time, tonight as I sat on the couch with Becky, for the first time I had the thought that in a not-to-distant future, our house would be quiet, and it would just be the two of us again.  Where will she be? Will she be close, like Jasmine, where we'll see her often, or will she be across the country (or perhaps even studying abroad) at some other university?  It's coming far quicker than it seems it should.  Wasn't she just a nugget the other day? How is she closer to middle school than she is to her first day of school? 

Where has the time gone?

On Being Together

This is the end of the fourth week of staying at home, so I've been home for 29 days without having to go to work.  I do have to teach online and spend a lot of time doing that as well as home projects.  However, I would say that my biggest job the past nearly-30-days has been keeping Sal busy.  Or perhaps that has been her biggest job for me because she does not want me to be doing anything else except playing games, pretending, or interacting with her.  I prefer the actual games, the art, or things like that over the pretend play.  She's very bossy with the pretend play and is constantly telling me what I should be doing.  That's not how improv works!  You have to go with it not say, "No, daddy pretend that you do the exact opposite of what you just said."  It's nice to get to play and spends so much time with her, even though it can be exhausting to try and keep up with her demands of playing and the constant games that I don't find all that fun for me.

She's also been one to constantly ask questions.  All the time. Over and over again. Sometimes the same questions over and over again.  For the first two weeks of the quarantine she asked me usually at least once a day, but sometimes more, if I "liked our time together?" Every day I would say absolutely loved our time together, and she'd say, "me too!" After about a week of this, I pointed out that she asked me this every day and that of course I did.  She eventually stopped asking that and moved on to other questions.  Yesterday she asked me, "Daddy, what is your 5th favorite color?"  and "What is your second favorite holiday?"  She doesn't seem satisfied that I don't have a 5th favorite color or a 4th favorite day.  The other day when I got out of the shower I put on my NASA shirt, and when she came in and saw I was wearing it she excitedly explained, "I CAN WEAR MY NASA SHIRT TODAY TOO!" She then promptly when and found hers to wear.  That day she asked me things like, "What is a meteor shower?" and after I explained it she asked, "Why do those happen?"  I love that she is inquisitive and curious about things. It's actually one of the things that I worry about her going to school because she wants to know things but I think our education system is killing natural curiosity and a desire to learn things by forcing us to focus so much on standardized tests which eliminate things that make school and learning fun. I do feel better about it now because it looks like we were able to get her into a program that will hopefully help preserve that curious nature and allow her to kind of direct her own learning.  But I'm going to move on before I evolve into a rant on the education system, and instead, I'll save that for a later date.

I also love to have so much time with Sal because when we work all day she wants to pack in constantly playing when we are home together and so we don't usually get very much in the way of downtime.  Since we're home together all day we have a more relaxed time that I've really enjoyed. The other day I introduced her to Sailor Moon.  This was for two reasons, the first was she was watching this modern show where they have these kids who can transform into superheroes and it was just the worst.  I figured if she liked that then she's probably like Sailor Moon, which is better (though also horrible, but at least it's something horrible that I have a soft spot for because there is nostalgia linked to it because it was my first anime).  Turns out, she loves Sailor Moon and we've been watching a couple episodes after dinner every night.  The other night she was sitting on the couch after dinner eating her "dessert" popsicle.  I was standing eating one too and she said, "Daddy, can you just stand there while I eat my popsicle.  She just wanted me to be nearby, something that I've noticed lately because she comes up for random hugs, and likes being near her while she eats lunch or dinner.  So instead I decided to sit down on the couch with her so we could watch Sailor Moon and eat our popsicles together.  I finished mine well before hers and as we sat I put my hand on her shoulder for a minute, but when I took my hand away she said, "Daddy, can you put your hand on my shoulder again?"  She just wants cuddles, and it was really sweet. 

I've often joked that this kind of life being stuck home has been the best because I hate people and having to leave the house.  Since we can't go I don't have any pressure to ever leave.  This is partially a joke, I do love going to some places, doing some things, going shopping, getting dinner, seeing family and friends.  However, I also love staying home and this has not put much of any stress on me at all.  In fact, I feel far less stressed and anxious than usual. I love this time together with my family, though I wish it could be with the whole family since we're all off work and could be having fun together and enjoying our time.  But, as long as I can get some cuddles, Sailor Moon, and popsicles on a lazy after dinner evening, I'll take the pretend play and questions about what my 18th favorite smell is.

No, Stop!

I haven't really been one that has been sad as Sal has gotten older. It's fun to watch her do new things and to be able to go and do things with her. Going to Disney was such a great time, and it was so much fun to be able to take her on her first roller coaster. She even put her hands up on them when we were sitting together, which was totally cute.  I also love her at this age because we'll be sitting on the bus going to and from the parks, or we'll be sitting at home watching tv and she'll just want to come sit next to me and put her head and hand on my arm and just cuddle in.

I think this is probably my favorite age, because we can do so many fun things but also she still really likes us and wants to sit and cuddle. It makes me start to feel like maybe I want to keep her this old forever. I love that she is small enough to sit and rock as we read stories before bed. I love that she likes to get up in the morning and watch some Sesame Street as we sit together under a blanket on the couch. It's not going to be long until she's too old for that. I mean, it's only 14 more years until she's going to be going off to college. That sounds like a long time, but it goes by so fast. I mean it's only been 14 years since Becky and I got married. It goes by so fast and I love having her at this age and it's so fleeting. Before you know it she's going to be an adult, buying her own house, and we'll be lucky if we can get her over once a week for dinner. Or who knows, she may end up moving to Guam or something.

At the same time, each new stage brings fun new experiences that we get to have with her. This year we're working on getting her onboard for swimming lessons. She's also going to start ballet this fall, which was her idea.  I know as she gets older we'll be able to go do things like hike on glaciers, visit other countries, and do things that she will enjoy that she hasn't discovered yet.  That is exciting, so since we can't stop time and stay in the same age forever, at least we have so many fun things to look forward to.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 123

It was dark, but there is one single bloom on the hydrangea plants this year. One year we got a ton, and then we go in this alternating nothing and then like one or two.

Need To Know Basis?

Yesterday was a little more exciting than it needed to be. Tomorrow we are heading out on our Florida Trip at 8:30 in the morning.  Because of that I've been working to get everything taken care of that I need to before we go. One of the things on the list was to go and take care of the lawn for my gran. It wasn't too bad because it really hasn't rained in quite a while, mostly it's just some tenacious weeds that have shot up here and there. Sal had a dentist appointment early so we were up and moving a bit early than usual, and headed over to my Gran around 9:00 so that I could get all her yard work done before it got too hot, and so that I'd have time to work on some stuff around the house.

We got to my Gran's and Sal got her suitcase out of the car (she always packs a suitcase full of toys and things to take to visit Gram-Gram). We knocked on the door, and waited. However, my gran didn't answer. So I knocked again, and waited. Again nothing. So I went to her other door in case she was down doing laundry and knocked again, but still no answer.  Sal and I decided that perhaps she was in the shower since it was about an hour earlier than our usual time to come over. So, I called her, but again, there was no answer. I then tried the cell phone, but again no answer.  By this time we'd been there for 10 -15 minutes, and I was starting to get worried that something happened. I don't have a key so I called my mom and asked if she did, and explained the situation. She came down a few minutes later and tried her key, but it didn't open the the deadbolt. My mom was about to break a window when my phone rang and it was my gran.

I answer the phone and she seems completely unaware that I've been outside for 20 minutes now trying to get in.  However, there was good reason for that, she was calling me from her room in the hospital.  Earlier yesterday morning she felt her heart was racing and that it was abnormal so she called for an ambulance and was waiting to have some tests done. She didn't bother to tell anyone because it was the middle of the night and there wasn't anything we could have done about anything. She had planned to call me when she did because she didn't expect me so early because we usually come over later than we do.  She seemed oblivious to the fact that we'd want to know that she was going into the hospital.

The good news is that after some tests it turns out she has a condition that sometimes she could get into an abnormal heartbeat, which isn't a huge deal as long as it's managed. She got out of the hospital this afternoon, and is doing fine. The funny thing is that this isn't the first time that's happened. Way back in the early 2000s I went to visit my gran and grandpa and when I got there both their cars were there but no one was answering the door. When I called my mom she said, "oh yeah, they're both in the hospital right now." Like, maybe those are things that people would want to know so that they're in the loop on what's going on.  The good news is that things are fine and it's not a serious issue that I was worried about since yesterday. I'm really earning this vacation tomorrow!

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 116

Well, it's not quite done yet, but we are leaving for Florida tomorrow so this is where we at as of now. I'm very displeased because despite saying it wouldn't yellow right on the can, it yellowed a lot. So, we'll see what we can do when we're back.

Unsolved Mystery, Solved.

There is a strange convergence of birthdays on the 11th. The most recent is our dog Luna, who is now only one year old.  However, it's also the birthday of one of my best friends from Virginia. It's also the birthday of my grandpa.  We were at my grandparents house a lot when I was growing up, but he worked a lot and when he wasn't at work he was either doing something with the garden, or standing at the door drinking beer and listening to old music on the AM radio.  It amuses me a little bit that sometimes when I'm mowing my Gran's lawn I run out of podcasts and so I turn to the satellite radio and sometimes pick the 40s station.  I enjoy the 40s station, but it has occurred to me that it's similar to the music that my grandpa used to listen to as he started out the window watching the birds, or the cars, or whatever the hell it was that he watched.

My gran has had some work done on the house over the years, things like refacing the cabinets, or getting the bathrooms updated.  The downstairs bathroom has mostly been the same except that the tub and shower surround was replaced.  However, when I was growing up my grandparents had a big old cast iron porcelain covered tubs. I recall hitting my chin on it once or twice by slipping while getting out of it, and it really hurt.  There was also this big black mark on the edge of the tub where the porcelain was chipped at some point in time, but I never knew what the cause was. 

Well, this week at family dinner we were just having a random conversation and my uncle apparently knew the answer to what happened to it, and the answer it turns out was me.  It coincided with an incident that I was aware of, where when I was little I apparently tried to flush a bar of soap. As the story goes I had the soap and someone turned their head for a second and there it went down the, as my grandma would say, commode. At this point my grandpa tries to fix it, and in the effort broke the toilet and had to replace it.  Well, my uncle tells me that what happened was that he thought he could drain it, and then tip it over allowing gravity to release the soap, easy-peasy.  What happened was that in the process he broke the toilet and hit it into the tub, thus causing the chip.

To be honest, I'm not sure how he didn't die at a young age, because looking back there were a lot of things that were certainly questionable to safety.  Like, once I recall that he ran across the deck, jumped over the fence around the pool and dove in. It was only a four foot pool and it wasn't that wide, yet he didn't break his neck or bust through the edge of the pool.  Another time he was swimming in the middle of a thunderstorm, to which my grandma repeatedly told him that he was going to die, but he made it through that one too.

 I don't actually know much about my grandpa's side of the family, they were from New York, and we never went and saw them. The only experience that I really remember is going to my great grandma's funeral when I was only four or so. My great grandpa died later that year, but I don't recall if we went to that funeral too or not.  I want to interview my grandma to ask some questions about it.  There are also three of his brothers still alive, but I don't know much about them, and may not have even really met them. Still some unsolved mysteries

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 89

As I've said before, this dog is cuddle obsessed. I was just sitting here minding my own business and she comes in shimmies herself between me and the couch and then falls asleep.

Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July! 

I love the Independence Day, it's one of my favorite holidays of the year. First, it's nice and warm because it's summer.  Second, it's a cookout, and I love holidays where there are cookouts involved. Third, there are fireworks, which is fun.  I probably also love it because many of the times in my childhood the fourth was celebrated at my grandma's house. She would buy us some cheap fountains from Meijer, we'd shoot them off, and we'd have a good time.  Sometimes we went to the Ford Lake fireworks (at the time I believe it was at what was then called Gyro Park). I recall one year we were driving home in her van and either my sister or I turned on one of the lights in the back of the van and my gran yelled at us to turn it off because, "Someone could shoot you!" Really, grandma? Who is going to shoot us?

This year we ended up having almost a family dinner, with the exception of my grandma and uncle.  We cooked food, and I made some traditional holiday food. There were burgers and chicken, corn on the cob, baked beans, baked potatoes, chips, and of course lots of pregame snacks.  Becky also made the most delicious chocolate mousse that had raspberries and brownies in it.  We ended up with too much food because some guests ended up not turning up, which is kind of rude but they weren't our friends so it wasn't that big of a deal other than the wasted food (which turned out only to be a couple ears of corn and baked potatoes, Jenna ate the rest of the leftovers for us). 

After dinner Sal got her first chance to try out sparklers.  She was a little afraid of them (she covered her ears like they were going to make loud noises, but we told her they were quiet).  We poked the sparkler handle through a cup to give her a little protection, and were careful to put the hot rods into a safe container so no one got burned.  She thought they were pretty fun, and wanted to see some fireworks, but was way over tired.  She told us that we had to wake her up to see fireworks once our neighbors started shooting them off, but when we went to wake her up she was so out that she didn't even open her eyes when we came in and tried.  It turns out she didn't miss much because our neighbors didn't really do much, and it was pretty quiet considering how it's been in previous years.  It was kind of disappointing on that front, and I think we should have bought some of the cheap fountains when we were at Target. I guess next year we'll know better. I think next year I'd also like to do the even at the Henry Ford where the Detroit Symphony Orchestra has a concert that is followed by fireworks. It's a limited event so it can't get too crowded. I've held off on it because of Sal's sleeping schedule, but I think by next year at five and a half she'll be able to handle it.

So happy 4th, everyone!

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 82

Family 4th of July day group photo! Don't we all look great!

Who Do You Think You Are

One of my projects for this summer is to do some work on our family history.  My biggest goal is that I want to record some conversations with family members (particularly my grandma) to discuss family history.  I want stories of life as a child in the 1940s, things about my great grandparents, what life was like.  Just basically the stories of the past that either I don't know, or that I've heard in passing, but want to record down so that I have them for the future.  My uncle did this with my great grandma back in the 1970s, however the technology wasn't great so the quality is not every good at all.  It's hard to hear, and I don't have the expertise to try and clean it up so that it's clean and audible.  However, being able to simply hear her voice again after 25 year since she passed is a valuable thing to have. I 'm sure Sal would love to have audio of "gram-gram" when she's my age.

As a historian I have become increasingly interested in recording oral histories before it's too late. I've actually had that tragedy with my grandparents on my father's side.  Part of that had to do with the fact that we were never close to them given the way things turned out with them.  I blame my parents for that one.  Though, at the same time I'm not sure how much they'd really tell of their histories.  They were always cagey about things. I mean, I kind of get that with my grandpa because he was in the war and he was part of a group that had a real rough time in Burma.  In fact, it was such a terrible situation that when it ended they were released from the army and didn't have to ever serve again and were all awarded the Bronze Star.  I recall only once that he talked about it, and even then it was just showing me his medals without any real details.

Either way, with that side of the family gone I don't really have that link anymore so I won't ever be able to investigate the experiences that they had.  The same is true of my grandpa on my mom's side who is also gone.  He told me a few stories, like the time that they were on the ship back from France (this was during Korea) and that they had horse for dinner.  He said it tasted fine.  Though, that's about the only story that I can think of that he ever told me about things. My gran seems to be the one that has all the stories, and will just breakout with some strange story that you've never heard before while you're watching TV and she's doing the dishes.  One time I was watching the Price is Right and she was doing dishes and just says, "You know I could have married a pilot from the RAF, but I married your grandpa instead!"  Or one time after we went to the Grand Canyon and sent her a post card she pulls out this post card some guy sent her from the Grand Canyon that she'd been hanging on to all these years.

These are some crazy stories, and I'd like to get some of them.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 71

I always love a visit to the greenhouse! 

Is It Dinner Time?

A while back we instituted Sunday night dinners. We started it shortly after the death of my Aunt Dean.  Since my grandma was Aunt Dean's primary care giver, she couldn't really get out of the house too often.  Once she was gone we didn't really want my grandma to be alone all the time, so we figured a regular standing dinner would be a good way to kind of build family expectations. In fact, I read an article about how this was actually a great thing to set up a regular responsibility where everyone was expected to be somewhere, and expected to spend time together as a family. The article went on to say that this sort of thing builds good relationships and a feeling of belonging among families to that do this.  It also coincided with Jasmine moving out and all the way up to Farmington Hills. All in all it was a good idea to start setting up regular times to be together as we were starting to move away from each other.

We're now a bit over a year in and I have to say that I'm very pleased with how it is going.  There are a few too many weeks where people don't show up, and that's disappointing.  However, generally speaking it's been great to have a specific time set aside for us to get together as a family. We get to talk about our weeks, what's going on in life, and just share a meal.  I don't think people realize what a big deal it is to do that.  When Jasmine first moved in we had dinner every single night, and sometimes her friends would stop by to eat with us.  Many of them commented on how we ate dinner together, and were surprised that it was an every night kind of thing.  Dining brings you closer together, and it's an important part of life.  We still do dinner every night with Sal.  The TV has to be off and we talk about our day.  Sal actually loves asking, "How was your day." She then comments on you response, which is adorable.

Well, it seems that our Sunday night dinner is expanding.  Jenna will be joining them since she's making the move from Chicago to Michigan.  Jasmine also has asked to expand and include one of her roommates Tyler, who she feels would enjoy being part of the family.  I guess our plaque "Berry's Home For Wayward Souls" continues to be valid as we expand our family dinner.  I will say that Sunday dinner has become one of my favorite nights of the week. I mean, I love routine, so that's always a plus, but it's nice to have the family together and feel like a larger group rather than just a isolated fractured family.

I highly recommend family dinners, definitely would recommend.  I think we need to do a similar thing with friends like every other month or something where everyone is expected to come and bring a dish and we just all eat together.  Routine makes it easier, and expectations make it more likely to be attended.  If I institute a friend potluck I'll let you know how it goes.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 68

I don't know who this baby is, we just met.  What I do know is that he's a total douche.

Three Ran

Becky was busy today so we headed over to my Gran's house.  It actually worked out well because today happened to be the running of the Kentucky Derby, something that my Gran is super in to.  She's a fan of the Derby, and I think part of it is because she's from Kentucky originally, though they did move away from Kentucky when she wasn't that old.  However, she loves it, and over the past few years due to coincidence we happened to be visiting her on the days that the Derby was being run.  However, this year I knew it was coming up, and I knew that Becky was going to be gone and decided that we should go and spend the afternoon/evening with my gran and watch the Derby with her.  So we ordered some pizza and headed over. 

There was actually a bit of a hiccup with the pizza because they messed up and looked at the billing address instead of the delivery address and were at my house instead of my Gran knocking on the door with the dog barking at him.  They figured it out and eventually got the pizza to us. The race itself was actually pretty exciting because the favorite to win, in fact won.  However, there was basically a jockey foul, and so the horse was disqualified and did not win the race.  This was actually quite a big deal because that has never happened before in the history of the Kentucky Derby.  So I guess we got to see some history.

I personally am not invested in horse races, and I know that there are issues with the "sport" because many horses are pushed too hard and they end up injured and dead because of it.  However, it is a nice thing that Sal and I can share with my gran, and that she doesn't have to just watch it alone. It sucks having an interest that you can't really share with anyone. I have that issue with Anime, where I don't really have any friends that are into it so I'm pretty much on my own without anyone to share the experience with.

It also makes me a little annoyed with my family because they know how much she likes it and they offered to take her to the Derby for Christmas one year, but it never happened. I know part of that is my Gran being weird about going anywhere, but also I don't feel like there was much follow through on it because it was really expensive. There are a few things that my gran is into, basically the Derby and the Grand Canyon. I wish that I could convince her to go do those two things. I mean, you only live once, so why not do things that you love? Go see the race. Go see the canyon.  It's actually kind of frustrating because she would be all into it until it actually got down to planning it then she'd back out at the last minute.  I mean, ultimately it's her loss, but still it's sad.

The upside is that we got to watch the Derby together and had some quality family time.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 67

Sal loves cheese bread, and Gram-Gram's house, so cheese bread at Gram-Gram's was a big win.

An Unexpected Experience

A while back Sal got tickets to to go see Daniel Tiger Life: King for a Day with her grandma, but unfortunately there were some conflicts and so instead of going with grandma and her cousin, she got to go with her mom and I instead. I have to say going into this I thought it may be the seventh layer of hell to go to an auditorium full of little kids and watch a live version of a television show. When we arrived and walked around the corner to see the theatre, and the line that stretched halfway down the street waiting to get in (five minutes before show time, mind you), I was sure this was going to be the worst. I have never been to a show like this before, so I guess it technically counts as my first new experience of the year. I turns out it wasn't as bad as you would expect.

They did a real nice thing at the beginning where they "got the wiggles" out of everyone so they could sit quietly during the show. The show itself was pretty much just an episode of Daniel Tiger, but nothing that was new. I think that might be a bit disappointing because if it were something new then perhaps it would be help keep their attention longer because it was all new. They also decided that in the one hour show they needed to have an intermission after 30 minutes, and then the intermission lasted for 30 minutes. Sal decided that about 10 minutes before the end that she was too hungry and she just wanted to go have some dinner. I wasn't sad about leaving early before the mass of people started to try and get out of there, and then the million years it would take to get out of the parking structure.

While it really wasn't on the top of my to do list of things that I wanted to do, I really wanted to make sure I'd be able to go and spend time with the family. Sal was really excited about the idea of me coming too. Before we left she told me, "I want to sit between you and mommy!' It was really worth it to see how excited she was to do this. Before the show started she was bouncing in her seat and was basically vibrating with joy and said "I"M SO EXCITED FOR THIS TO START!"  She sat and watched very excited throughout he entire first part, and then looked at me during intermission and said, "daddy do you think maybe we could get some popcorn?" It was really just a great experience, and I'm so happy that I got to go. I also realize that Sal is getting to the point that this may be some of the first memories that really stick with her. I'm really glad we got to have these experiences to start building the memories that last.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 13

Just a quick picture from today's Daniel Tiger Live. She obviously was having a terrible time.

Birthday Adventures

Nothing makes time fly more than having a kid and watching the years quickly pass by for them.  Sometimes it feels like it's been ages while others it seems like it couldn't possibly be as long as it has.  Four years ago seems like it was forever ago. It seems like it's been so long since she was a tiny little baby laying on me as we watched Voyager those first few weeks at home. Or just as long ago when she was crawling around and bouncing and dancing to the Doctor's theme song.  At the same time it seems like it hasn't been long enough for her to have already pass the 4 year mark.

Then I start to think about how fast other things are going to be coming up. In about 20 months she's going to be starting school! She's also now half way to eight, which is nearly double digits! Once she's in school it seems like it's such a short time until she's graduating and moving on to her own life.  I'm not saying that I want to keep her forever at this age, I love that she's growing up and getting interested in things, having thoughts, and developing the most awesome personality. At the same time, I also love that she's at an age where she still thinks I'm the best, where she likes to play a game where I grab her and tell her I'm keeping her forever before I let her go and then snatch her back up and say that I'm still keeping her forever.

I feel like I also probably have a low level of worry about her getting older just simply because of the family examples I've had in my life. No one in my family particularly likes their parents, and have various levels of separation and estrangement. There are some valid reasons for that, say not accepting who they are as people, or being absent, or being addicted to drugs or alcohol.  Those aren't factors that we have hanging over us, but it's still a nagging little voice there in the back of my head that some day she's going to grow up and hate us.  I don't think that's really going to happen because that's not the life she is living, nor the support system that we provide for her, but brains are stupid and they like to throw things at you.

However, to help celebrate her birthday weekend, we started today with a little trip to her favorite restaurants.  For breakfast we went to "the fruit restaurant " and even got our favorite waitress. She insisted that she wanted fruit, AND a waffle, AND bacon.  I ordered it all for her and she did a decent job (plus I got all the waffle she didn't want).  After that we went to have some fun at the Hands-on Museum.  It was unfortunately a total zoo, and she's very standoffish about doing things if other kids are already there.  On our way she told me all about how she wanted to go play on the projection floor games, but when she got there aren half a dozen kids were already on it she told me "there are too many kids" and decided to go elsewhere. It's weird because I feel the same way about things, but it's never anything that she would have observed me doing.  An interesting study of nature vs. nurture when I see her doing some things that she's never been taught and really couldn't have observed but are exactly like things that me or Becky do.

To cap off our celebration day, we went to her other favorite restaurant "the walrus" which means La Fuente.  For some reason the sign next to the restaurant for The Dance Pavilion, which is two people dancing, she thinks look like a walrus.  I really don't see it, but she's called it that for as long as I can remember (picture for reference).  She also calls La Fuente "chips and cheese" and when she wants to go she used to say she wanted to go "visit her friends." It was actually the first place out to eat we took her, though she was only like a week old so obviously she didn't eat.  We go there pretty regularly so they know her, and she even has let a few of the regular servers pick her up.  They brought her a birthday treat and a hat and sang to her.  She was not prepared for that and melted out of her chair and under the table (she reappeared near Becky to sit on her lap). It was funny and cute. I think it was the unexpected way they came up behind her and put a giant sombrero on her that set her off.  She also had this random old man walk up to the table and ask who was having a birthday (since she had a Mickey Mouse balloon tied to her chair.  When we said it was Sal the man looked at her and said "AH! Mija!" and then gave her five dollars and ambled away. I think he may have known some of the workers because he was over where they were before he stopped by our table.

It was a pretty exciting and busy day, and a busy four years.  It's crazy how grown up she has become in such a short time. I love her at this age, but then again I have loved her at every age. I look forward to how she's getting more interested in learning and doing things, and to the years ahead. Happy Birthday!

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 3

A whole day out and my stupid phone died right after breakfast even though it had only been off the charger for maybe an hour. Sadly, this is the only photo I got form the entire adventure today.

Christmas Tree Day, Plus A Month

Because I wasn't blogging I didn't get to document my favorite day of the year, Christmas Tree Day! When I say it's my favorite day I think that it is even better than Christmas Day. It's the start of the entire season, it's the transition from regular boring house to festive fun house. Well, not fun house in the carnival way, though then again given the surprise and unwanted visitors it does make the holiday feel a little big top show sort of a way. However Christmas Tree Day is before any of that happens, there haven't been shopping, there hasn't been any holiday drama, it's just the potential of a good holiday season,

We have some pretty standard traditions when it comes to Christmas Tree day, and Sal has started to build some for herself. One of the most important being the "silly snowman" at the place we get our tree from. When we told her that Christmas Tree day was coming up she got very excited and exclaimed "We get to see the silly snowman!" And when I say exclaim I mean that she literally exclaims it with this airy breathless joy and excitement. She loves the silly snow man, and I love that she has started to come up with some things that she can look forward to about Christmas Tree day. My only fear is if something happens to that snowman she's going to be so disappointed. But so far we have I believe we have a picture with that snowman every year (maybe not the first year, not sure, I'll need to check that out).

Once we get home we begin the process of decorating the house. We start with getting the foyer set up with our Christmas rug, garland, and lights. We also have to move some furniture so the first part is not as exciting. We also start out with some delicious food. It's usually something like crepes, cinnamon rolls, though I think adding in the Zingerman's Obama Buns would be a great add to the rotation. We also get some delicious hot chocolate and get the tree up and start to decorate. We also have our traditional movies that we watch during the whole process, starting with Mickey's Christmas Carol, which is by far the best Christmas Carol movie. It's also super kid friendly, though we stared watching it well before there were children involved.

Sal has really changed a lot from last year, and she's been far more into Christmas this year than she ever has in the past. She was super excited for Christmas Tree Day. Once we got the tree she was very in to being part of the decorating, and kept asking when she'd get to help since she really couldn't do much while we were putting up the lights and ribbon. This year she was also really excited for Christmas Eve, and that Santa was coming and even more so when she woke up and found that the cookies were eaten.

This year we started something that may be a new tradition, because the day before Christmas Tree Day we took Sal up to Bronners and let her pick out a new ornament for the tree.  We took her last year at some point before the season and let her pick out an ornament, and that was fun so it was nice to let her do it again. She really loved looking at all the stuff, so it was a really nice and fun experience, so perhaps we'll make it part of the traditions for Christas. Of course the ornament that she picked up was another dinosaur that can go with her one she got last year. Though last year was more festive because it was wearing a Santa hat. We also picked up some new ornaments that look like old ones, as you will be able to see below in some of the extra pictures.

It was a good season, and it was a good Christmas Tree day to start it off. Below are some more photos that I wasn't able to fit in the usual format, so enjoy them in this less inline style format.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
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Right before Christmas Tree Day we took Sal up to Bronners so that she could pick out a new ornament for the tree.  She of course picked a new dinosaur, however while we are shopping something caught my eye.  Why would anyone want to take these shrimp cocktail finger looking horror ornaments and put them on their tree?  I swear these are the things that jumped out of dinner and pulled people into their soup on Beetlejuice.

For SCIENCE!

My grandma is always an interesting person to talk to because she'll just bust out with some of the strangest stories or comments. Sometimes there is no context, follow up, or explanation. She'll just say something and just keep moving a long.  One time I was sitting at her house watching The Price Is Right as she was doing dishes in the kitchen and she just blurts out "Becky's a good kid!" Though, to be fair with that one she mumbled it quietly to herself under her breath like she was thinking about something and then decided it was worth saying out loud.  She did a similar thing a few weeks later. Again, I was watching The Price Is Right, she was doing dishes and she says, "You know your grandpa had a brother that killed a guy!" She didn't elaborate on that one at all. I should probably follow up on that story because, WTF!?

One of the stories that she busted out with while watching the Price Is Right was that there was a guy who was a pilot for the RAF and he wanted to marry her, and she should have done it. That one she eventually told more stories about, though years apart and not making a direct link between the men in both stories. The second story about him was that he wanted to have her meet him at the Grand Canyon. When we went a few years ago we sent her a picture, she's always been taken with the canyon and wanted to visit, I suspect it may be because of this story. When we got back she pulled out this old post card from some guy who had a photo not much different from the one we sent her. I probably should follow up on that story too. It's quite an interesting life that I hadn't heard of before.

Recently when talking to her she busted out another one of her random comments. We were talking about going to school and jobs and such. When she was little her father passed away and the left her and her mom and siblings searching for somewhere to live and some way to get by. They bounced around a bit, and eventually settled when her mom remarried.  They didn't have much and she didn't finish high school because she needed to work.  Reflecting on that life she said that she never got a chance to get an education and would have liked to have been a scientist.   She just didn't have the chance to go because life got in the way.

This revelation really threw me a bit because I've never really thought about what my grandma wanted her life to be when she was young. She's never really talked about it before, or given any indication that there was a different sort of plan or dream that she had.  Was this always something that she thought about, even as a child? Did she think about it later as an adult when she saw that there were other opportunities that weren't available when she was young? It was also a little surprising because she's never really ever had any hobbies or things that she went and did. Like, if you like something don't you usually try to do stuff related to it even if you can't do the thing you really want to do? She always just got on with everything, no complaints, just did what she had to do. It kind of makes me sad that her life circumstances stopped her from doing what she wanted to do, something that I also relate to. I love teaching and history, but I really loved science and space and when I was in high school I wanted to go into that field. However, having to work my way through school made that impossible because many of the classes were only available during the day when I was working.

Though, it is interesting that apparently we shared a love of science, and both thought that being a scientist would have been a good way to spend life.  I should probably follow up on that story.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 73

A photo from a few weeks ago, catching up on my photos of the day. I was doing 70 on the expressway and had a bit of a blowout. Let me tell you, it wasn't very much fun! Luckily I was only about a mile from the nearest exit and my insurance towed me to the tire shop at that exit.

The Waiting

Today was a long day of waiting.  For the second time this year my niece had to have a surgery for a brain tumor (it's not cancer, but it's still a problem). While it was supposed to be a shorter surgery than last time, it actually went much longer than expected, but along the way updates seemed to imply things were going well, and in the end they were able to get the most they could, which may or may not be all of it.

Given that this is the child of Becky's sister, she was of course at the hospital all day starting around six in the morning to lend support, get food or coffee and just be there for her sister and brother in law.  It was a long and stressful day for all involved, but in a way it was less stressful than last time.  This time we know what we're dealing with, and there isn't the terrifying weeks of waiting to find out what kind of growth it was. 

It's terrible to have such a small child afflicted by health issues like this. They are young and innocent and they don't deserve to go through things like this. Many children go through things even worse than this around the world, so by comparison this situation in our family is manageable. Though, of course when these situations arise it doesn't take long before someone comes out and says something like, "well this is in god's hands," or "this is just part of god's plan," or "have faith." I really can't deal with those lines of thought because if that's the case then you have to acknowledge the fact that if god can"take care" of this, then it was god who allowed it to happen or to do it to begin with.

I also have to give props to my wife, because the amount she gives for the people she cares about I don't think is appreciated. At times many see her as a prickly cactus who but if you're stuck in a desert she's there filled with water to keep you going.  It's not a perfect metaphor...  She is steadfast in her devotion and will be there when it matters with no complain, no thought of "inconvenience" and is just what you need. I think she gives herself crap for being like that, feeling like she's neglecting others while she's focused on higher needs, but she's not.  In fact, she's a shining example of what it truly means to be supportive. It's comforting to know that Sal has such a great model to look up to and see how one should care for their family.

With the day behind us now comes the period of recovery, and I'm sure Sal's "best friend" will be on the mend soon and ready to play. She's a great kid and a rockstar who won't be down for long.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
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Sal and her "very best friend" Izzy earlier this year having some fun playing at grandma's. Sal told me that when Izzy is all better she can come back and play at grandma's house again.

The Last Surviving Sibling

At the end of March my Grandma's sister Dean passed away, leaving my grandma the last of the 11 from her generation. I only ever knew five of the 11, many of them died before I was born. My grandma was the youngest, and her oldest brother was something like 20 years older than she was. My great grandparents had a lot of kids over a long period of time.

Growing up I spent a lot of time at my grandma's. We spent many summers with her for the entire break, there were times through out my childhood where we lived at my grandparent's house. As a result of being there a lot, we also ended up seeing those aunts and uncles a lot. Additionally, my great gran lived with my gran for most of her life, and she didn't pass away until I was 12, nearly 13. There were numerous times that the siblings were together for my great gran's birthday. Or we'd go with my gran as she took great gran up to visit uncle Clay, or aunt Helen may spend weekends. To sum up, I saw them a lot, more than my direct aunts and uncles (as they were one generation removed).

When I was little, Aunt Dean always scared me a little bit.  She'd never really done anything, but she always seemed a little stern. Aunt Liz was so soft spoken, uncle Clay was always smiling and laughing, and aunt Helen was so familiar because she was around a lot.  Aunt Dean on the other hand often seemed firm and a bit more severe. I told this to my uncle during the family viewing and he was actually surprised.  In his childhood she had been the aunt that would take the nieces and nephews for weekends, had good times, and told me he had many fond memories.  Thinking back, I recall that she's the only one that every bought me a present that I can recall, and she also sent me a check for my graduation.

Sometimes I wonder about her life. She never had children, but seemed to like all her nieces and nephews.  As I was going through pictures with my gran I found out that my aunt had actually modeled for Hudsons in downtown Detroit when she was younger. That really surprised me. Her husband had always been a bit of a piece of work, but they were together for years, and I wonder what their life was filled with.

The final few years of her life were harder. She developed dementia and ended up moving in with my Gran so she could be looked after. This was hard on my gran since she had to basically be chained to her house so that she could take care of her sister.  She of course willingly did this, the idea of her sister being put in a facility was not something she would allow. But as my aunt's condition deteriorated, it became virtually impossible for her to leave the house at all with out someone being there with her. As time went aunt Dean got more and more quiet. By the end about all I ever hear her say was hello or goodbye. There were times that it seemed like she recognized me, but then there were other times when I'm not sure if she realized anyone else was there at all. As we got to March she had some health issues, and eventually she was connected with Hospice, who said it would probably be within a few months, though it turned out to be just a matter of days.

Being the tech and photo enthusiast of the family, I was tasked with creating a video photo collage for the viewing and funeral. As part of my projects I've been working on scanning old photos, including the collection from my grandma. I got a bunch of photos from her, but as we were going through all these old photos, my gran was unable to find any that actually belonged to my aunt. Apparently, it sounds as if when she moved out of her house rather than keep them, they were simply thrown out. Being a preserver of film and big into researching family history this about broke my heart. The entire photographic record of a life simply thrown in the rubbish bin.

I feel like this has been hard on my Gran, but she's been pretty quiet about it. She and my aunt Dean were together a lot growing up. They lived together when they were younger, and then again later at the end. They traveled together a few times, and they were the last two of the generation. All the siblings, all the spouses are now gone, except for my gran. For me, that is also a little rough because these people were fixtures through out my childhood, and now all that is left are pictures and memories. I can't imagine what it must feel like to my gran. Time slips by so quickly, and before you know it so much of it has past.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 52

They used a different photo for the obituary, but I liked this one a lot better. It was less formal, and more like how I remembered her because it's not so staged.

Back To Reality

Today was the first day back, we didn't end up getting a snow day. It wasn't that bad being back, the students were mostly fine, though they were a little more hyped up than I expected after a break. The day went a lot faster than I expected that it would, but teaching makes days go by fast because every hour to hour and a half you're switching classes, which really breaks the day up pretty well. It wasn't too bad going back because I like my job, and enjoy teaching.

At the same time, it was hard going back to work because I enjoyed so much having all the time off to just spend with the family. It's probably harder now because Sal is at home all day and it'd be so much better to just be home all day with her. Though, in just two and a half years she'll be going to school too, so it won't be too hard going back because she'll be going back too. I've often felt like if I were independently wealthy I'd still do my job because I just like doing it. Though after the last two weeks off I kind of feel like I'd prefer to just stay home. I'm sure that once I'm back in the flow of things I won't feel that way, but right now I'd rather have been able to just stay home still and do whatever I want. Someone want to give me millions of dollars so I can continue living the life I do and still be able to stay home?

I consider some family members who spend a lot more time at home due to the jobs that they have, which aren't as demanding. At the same time they also don't pay much. So it's all well and good that they get to stay home and relax a lot, but I'd rather have the job so that I'll be able to have amazing experiences rather than staying home all the time because we couldn't afford to do anything. I grew up that way, where the only place we really went was the once a year trip to Cedar Point. I never got to go to Disney, even though I really wanted to. We never went out to dinner, except for maybe a birthday trip to Red Lobster. We didn't travel anywhere. That wasn't a very fun way to grow up. I enjoy that Sal will have more experiences, I mean, she's only three and has been to more states that I had until I was in my 20s.

So, while I'm struggling to get back in the swing of things right now, I'll be fine in a few days once it's all back to normal. I also appreciate the way that we're able to live, the things we're able to do, and the fact that Sal has been saying lately that I'm going to take her to see Mickey Mouse (and lately she's been adding that we're going to go on a plane), and it's something that will be possible, not a dream that will never happen.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
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Becky is excellent at theming, and makes all these neat little signs. I think my favorite was probably the Winnie the Pooh party.  This time of course we had the M-I-C (see ya real soon) sign on the door. She also made this for the adult beverages.

Well Gee, She's Three!

Today my youngest daughter turns three! To be honest, I don't feel like it's been three years, and it's a little hard to believe that she's this old already. It took a long time for us to decide to parent an infant. We decided to start with teenagers, which we were used to from our drama days, so starting with a fresh baked cookie was a new experience. We debated and talked about it, there were obstacles and fears. I still worry a lot that something crazy or bad will happen, but it's usually very absurd and I push the crazy out of my head and move along.

Three years ago, after nearly two days of the whole labor process, my wife was whisked away to an OR as I was brought up to speed on what was going on after a couple of hours of sleep. I recall being afraid that something would go wrong and we wouldn't have a baby, or something would go wrong and I wouldn't have a wife. I saw with my wife on the other side of the curtain that was put up so we couldn't see what they were doing. I remember them saying that she was out, but there was no noise. My wife asked why she wasn't making noise, and the nurse said that often they don't realize that they're out when they come out this way. It wasn't long before she cried. They asked if I wanted to go see her, and I said that I wanted to wait so we could both see her together. They brought her over, and I tried to hold her up in a way that my wife could see her. I probably should have just let her hold her, I don't know why I didn't, I'm sure there was some sort of reason. I cried holding her the first time, which I didn't expect. Once they finished up and we went back to recovery Becky held her and we discussed names. I informed everyone that things were fine, and through a typo almost threw everyone for a loop because I typed "he" instead of "she" so they had to clarify that we did have a girl. And thus Sal became part of our family.

There were a number of times as she got bigger that I couldn't imagine her being older. I couldn't imagine what she'd look like with teeth. I couldn't picture her with hair. I thought how weird it would be to someday hear her voice. I look ahead and there are many things that I can't imagine. What will she like? What will she do with her life? Who will she choose to journey by her side? Will she become a parent, and if so what will that be like.  There is so much that she has ahead of her that I can't imagine, but I hope that she imagines great things for herself and she does them.

I adore having a three year old, but really I adore being a parent at all. I love watching her squeal in delight over bubbles, or cats, or when she makes me sing "spoon full of sugar" but makes me add the word "cocoon" to it so the song says, "just a spoon full of sugar cocoon makes the medicine go down." It makes no sense! Why does she want me to do this? Why is this so funny? How did this idea pop into her head? I love that I am seeing every day more and more imagination, more personality, and more thoughts. I look forward to all the new things that she will do, discover, and who she will become.

Today I wish her the happiest of birthdays, and will enjoy the journey over the next year as my youngest is now three.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 3
Birthday to birthday! Three years is far quicker than you imagine.

I May Cut A Bitch

Most of my relatives are shitbags.  This isn't new, in fact as far as I can tell they've just always been this way.  Therefore it really shouldn't shock me when they do things that shitbags do, I mean, they are shitbags so why would acting like shitbags be surprising?  Well, my grandma has always had a favorite grandchild, this isn't surprising either, it's long established and well known.  Well it's been years since my sister has come to visit, and when I visited her earlier this year when I was down in D.C. for my conference, and I kind of talked to her about coming up for a visit for a holiday. My idea was that I'd even help cover the cost to help clear some of the hurdles that could prevent it from happening. I was surprised when she told my gran that she was coming up for Thanksgiving about two weeks before Thanksgiving. That's great, my gran will be so thrilled.  Well then not too long later she said she wouldn't be able to make it, then posted stuff on Facebook about how unreasonable it is to expect people who work in the service industry to get time off around holidays.  It was a weak response, but whatever.

Fast forward to Christmas, and who has a freaking week off of work??? And guess who went to visit friends in Pittsburgh for Christmas.  Pittsburgh, a mere four hours away. And of course, guess who didn't come visit her grandmother.  I mean, even if you don't want to spend an entire week, how about a few days? I mean, it's been years, and grandparents aren't getting any younger. It just pisses me off that people think only about themselves. Do something for someone else once in a while! I was ready to burn the house down on Christmas when I read it on social media, and though, well maybe it will be part of the trip, a surprise, but now a week later it clearly wasn't.  Fuck that.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 138

I've been working on my scanning goal for the year and scanned a few rolls of film over the past couple days. I found this one of the Cow Parade cow in Grand Central Station back in 2000. Thought it was a fun one.

Survivor And High Ho Cherry O

I feel like I've done nothing all day, though one of my tasks was to clear off the TiVo, and we did make a nice dent in that by getting rid of all the back episodes of Survivor, as well as the Doctor Who christmas special. We were up to having about 73% of the memory filled, but now we're down to around 50%.  Still a lot to go, and I don't know that I can get it all cleared before we both head back to work and I start teaching and grad classes again.

The other thing on the To Do list was to spend some time with Sal because I've been far too busy the past couple of months. She asked me if I could go in and play with her pet hospital, but then she decided that we needed to go play in her room. However when we got up there she saw that she had two gamed she got on Christmas that we hadn't opened yet and decided to go back downstairs so we could open them up and play with mommy. 

Let me just say, High Ho Cherry O was a big hit.  We played it about a dozen times at least. She got a little tripped up the first few turns figuring out when it was her turn to play and when she would have to wait.  However, once that was sorted out she was hooked. She would count her little fruit pieces and spin the wheel on her turn (though a few times she didn't like what she spun and decided to just spin again). She laughed and squealed every time she got one of the spaces on the wheel that makes you put some of the fruit back on the board. She all around just loved it.

We didn't really leave the house until evening when we went out for dinner with Becky's family so we could see the niece and nephew. We probably would have gone out sooner, but we had the delivery guys here replacing the damaged bet with another slightly less damaged bed (not amused but that's for another story). Tomorrow we have an early morning appointment to get the car serviced, so that will surely get us out of the house for a bit.  So far, I've found the break quite relaxing now that we've got the whole holiday out of the way.

Picture(s) of the Day: 
Picture 135

A little bit cool, but also a little bit creepy? Only a few more days left before this all comes down and it's back to the less festive house. Traditionally we always decorate on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and then take everything down on New Year's Day. Well, except that one year I was so over Christmas that I basically threw everything out the window on the day after Christmas.